How To Delete Your Social Media

The best thing I did for myself in the past few years is to delete my social media accounts. It made me happier and more productive. I have a much better relationship with my phone, the Internet, and current events now. Plus, my screen time is limited and I spend way more time working on creative projects than doomscrolling social media apps.

I'm not the only one. Lately a lot of people have been asking me about deleting social media. So I thought I would share a few tips that made it easier for me to bite the bullet and pull the plug so I could keep my nose to the grindstone and...use more idioms.

Let's get into it:

STEP ONE: Take a look at your screen time on all devices and face the facts. You're wasting a lot of time on social media apps. So get rid of them. Delete the apps from your phone or iPad. Sign out of them on your computer, too.

Now when you think about logging on, you'll see that they aren't there any more or you have to enter your log-in information before you can access it. You want to put as many roadblocks between you and social media as possible.

STEP TWO: Start small. Try to string a few days together, then a full week. Before you know it a full month will have gone by and you'll start to realize that social media isn't as necessary as you thought it was.

By the time I permanently deleted my social media accounts I was only logging on once every few weeks. I'd only go on for a minute or two, before thinking to myself, "This is pointless, why did I get back on here?" Once you get to that point, deleting the accounts will be much easier.

STEP THREE: Back up your files. Just because you're deleting your accounts doesn't mean you have to delete all of your photos and videos, too. Each network has a feature that will allow you to download those important files and store them somewhere safe.

Take a moment to find the files worth keeping and add them to the cloud or a hard drive so you will always be able to access them later, when needed.

STEP FOUR: Let people know you're leaving. Or don't. It's really up to you. But no need to write a status about it - that's just virtue signalling. It's the online version of "I don't watch TV!" Seriously, who would write dozens and dozens of posts about getting off of social media?

Instead, let your closest friends and family know via text, email, or phone call. That way you've let them know directly that you still value those relationships and want to keep in touch and you've also gotten them used to the idea that they'll need to resort to other means to contact you.

STEP FIVE: Walk away. Delete your accounts and reclaim your life.

Some of the networks make it hard to delete your account, so here's a good guide from Wired on how to do it.

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It may take a couple weeks or a couple months but sometime soon, not long after you've deleted your social media, you'll start seeing the world differently.

You'll find it weird that news organizations rely so heavily on Twitter or look strangely at people taking photos of their brunch for Instgram. You'll want to roll your eyes when you hear someone say "I saw on facebook that..." or you see a TikTok "star" getting interviewed on a talk show.

The world of social media is bizarre. It's all part of these companies ploy to keep you using their services. The more shocking, wild, and crazy stuff they put out the more you'll keep coming back for more. But once you get out you'll see it for what it is: a dangerous, addictive, and unnecessary part of life.

You may not be ready yet but here are a few things you should watch and read to help get you there:

• The Social Dilemma on Netflix
• "How To Break Up With Your Phone" by Catherine Price
• "Ten Arguments For Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now" by Jaron Lanier

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About Mark Toland

Mark Toland is an award-winning mind reader and two-time TEDx Speaker. His mind blowing skills have been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, NPR, WGN, Sirius XM, and more. Mark’s blog is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a professional entertainer, full of creative thoughts for creative people. Sign up below so you’ll never miss a post.

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One Year Off Of Social Media

A few weeks ago I reached a small milestone in my personal life, a day that came and went with no fanfare or pomp and circumstance. Still, I took a minute to appreciate the positive changes I’d seen in my life.

The occasion? It had been a full year since I deleted all of my social media accounts.

At the time, everyone said, “Don’t do that - you need social media to have a career in show business! There’s no other option!” For a long time, I believe them. I thought about deleting my accounts off and on for over a year from late 2018 to late 2019, then finally pulled the plug in December 2019.

It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

So after a year, let’s debunk some of the biggest misconceptions about social media, marketing yourself, connecting with others, and building your fan base:

• Myth #1 : It’s impossible to get work without social media

This is quite simply not true. It feels weird to say this since we’re in the middle of a pandemic and life is very hard for many people right now, but 2020 was one of the most successful years of my career thus far. I was able to bring entertainment to thousands of people in a virtual format, sell tickets to online shows, and work for major clients around the world. None of that work came from social media - it came from having a great product and letting other people spread the word.

When my accounts were active I never booked a single gig from social media. Everything came from other sources, yet I clung to the idea that having a visible presence online was imperative to a successful, sustainable career as an entertainer. I was wrong. You do not need social media to get work - there’s always another option.

• Myth #2: You need to keep your social media up to date so you stay visible.

Yuck.

I can’t tell you how many hours I wasted brainstorming ideas for social media content, scheduling posts, and trying to stay current across all of my profiles. What a colossal waste of time.

If anything, social media creates the illusion of being busy. You’re updating it every day and getting constant interaction from likes, comments, retweets, and shares, so it must be helpful right? I don’t think so.

We’ve been tricked into thinking these things matter, so we spend time on our status updates instead of on our actual product. After I quit social media I suddenly found myself with a massive amount of extra time on my hands. At first I didn’t quite know how to handle it. It felt weird to not be doomscrolling at all hours of the day, but gradually my mind began to shift and I started asking myself, “What should I work on today?” I stopped consuming and started creating. Deleting social media let me reclaim my spare time for my own projects and I’ve seen a seismic shift in my creative output.

• Myth #3: You need social media to keep in touch with people.

When I deleted social media I only had a couple of people reach out to ask me about it. Other than that, no one seemed to notice or even care.

Chances are you already stay in touch offline with the people that really matter in your life. The other 99% of the people on your social media feeds don’t matter.

Seriously, those people suck. You don’t need to know what that classmate you only spoke to once during freshman year had for breakfast this morning. You don’t need to know that your high school math teacher is an expert on QAnon now or that your coworker whose name you forgot just had a baby. It’s weird to snoop on the lives of so many strangers. And, it’s weird that people feel inclined to share so much.

Our social circles are supposed to be much, much smaller. You should probably really only be friends with a handful of people. As a result, there’s no need for social media to keep in touch with the people that truly matter. Now that I’m off those platforms I find myself texting, e-mailing, or - god forbid! - even calling my friends much, much more often.

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Being off of social media has made me more productive, more creative, and just generally more happy on a daily basis. I have a lot more to say on this in the coming weeks but for now, if you’re interested in doing away with your social media, too, I highly recommend Jaron Lanier’s book “Ten Arguments For Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now”.

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About Mark Toland

Mark Toland is an award-winning mind reader and two-time TEDx Speaker. His mind blowing skills have been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, NPR, WGN, Sirius XM, and more. Mark’s blog is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a professional entertainer, full of creative thoughts for creative people. Sign up below so you’ll never miss a post.

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Another Reason To Get Off Social Media

One of my best friends is one of the most likable people I know. Everyone loves him. He’s a good dad, a good husband, a good friend — you get it. He goes above and beyond to put other people first and make anyone he meets feel special along the way.

Something he loves to do is send unsolicited messages on social media to let people know he’s excited for them. He doesn’t just click “like”, he actually takes the time to craft a thoughtful message and congratulate someone on their big moment.

Recently he told me that he’d seen a post from a guy he knew on facebook about a new job. That guy had been his best friend his entire freshman year of college. They’d done everything together. They went to class, partied, and hung out nonstop. So, when my buddy saw him being successful he wanted to send him a congratulatory message.

He wrote a private message to say that he was really happy to see his success, always knew he’d turn his passion into a career, and was really excited to watch his progress. He put a lot of thought into it. (Knowing my friend he probably spent longer on it than he should have. But that’s what makes him a great guy.) Then, he fired it off and went back to his day.

Later that afternoon he heard a ping and saw that he’d gotten a response. His old college friend responded:

“Thanks so much, I really appreciate! But, by the way…how do we know each other?”

When he told me that story I lost my mind. I laughed for five minutes straight. (Add storytelling to the list of things he’s great at.)

Here was my friend just trying to be nice and turned out this guy, whom he had spent many important moments with during college, didn’t even remember him.

He sent back “We went to college together! Keep crushing it!” then removed him as a friend.

That story made me laugh, but it also made me sad. Not only because the relationships in our life can be fleeting, but also that we’ve chosen to shrink those friendships down to lines on a screen. Everyone we meet gets added to our friends list, without a second thought, and they all get the same amount of space on the screen. The stranger you met at college orientation gets the same amount of space that your co-worker or best man gets, and before long it’s hard to distinguish between who matters and who doesn’t. When everything is the same, nothing is special.

Yet another reason to delete your social media and never look back.

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About Mark Toland

Mark Toland is an award-winning mind reader and two-time TEDx Speaker. His mind blowing skills have been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, NPR, WGN, Sirius XM, and more. Mark’s blog is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a professional entertainer, full of creative thoughts for creative people. Sign up below so you’ll never miss a post.

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Opt Out

Towards the end of March I noticed almost an instant change in the way businesses were advertising:

“We’re all in this together.”

“We can help you be safe.”

“Let us provide for you in this time of need.”

Did you notice it, too?

I think the constant barrage of hashtags and clickbait and soundbites has exponentially increased my level of cynicism in recent years, but in this case I think it’s wholly justified.

Don’t for a second think that these business have your best interests in mind. They don’t. It’s all about their bottom line, plain and simple. It’s all about the bag.

This is part of the reason I dropped social media last year. There’s a need for “influencers” and “brands” to weigh in on every single issue and event. It’s exhausting. They have to change their profile pictures and bios, release a statement, and go live on instagram so they can “be visible” - oh, wait, I mean “take a stand”. You saw brands do it with coronavirus and now they’re doing it all over again with Black Lives Matter.

Take HBO Max. Did you even know what HBO Max was when it came out? Of course not. It was confusing and no one was really talking about it. Then they remove “Gone With The Wind” to address some concerns for a while and suddenly everyone was saying “HBO Max Removes Gone With The Wind” From Their Platform.”

I could almost hear a corporate executive screaming, “Yes, we did! And that’s HBO MAX…M-A-X…sign up now!”

Companies finding ways to market themselves during a time of crisis make me sick. It’s a disgusting, awful way to do business and yet, many people seem to be celebrating corporations instead of seeing through the thin veneer of their opportunistic virtue signaling.

Recently we see this with the companies boycotting Facebook’s advertising platform. Russell Brand had some good thoughts on the matter and, as usual, said them in a much more intelligent way than I could:

The problem with all of this is that people are fed up with Facebook and are probably posting about their frustrations with them right now on THEIR FACEBOOK FEEDS. I’m not even on there but I guarantee you its true.

Everyone I know hates their social media. It makes them anxious and takes up too much of their time. They get in disagreements on it or find themselves getting more and more depressed. But, they’re convinced they can’t leave or even better, might be able to stay on and make some change.

But, if you really think any of these companies care about you then think again. They don’t. The social media companies don’t care and neither do the ones boycotting them. It’s all about the bag.

Whether they stay on the platform or not, the companies are all getting press out of it and we’re all forced to sit here and celebrating them for being “brave” and “supporting the cause”. And it seems hopeless, like there’s no escape.

But there is…

Don’t celebrate the brands. Don’t support the platforms that give them a message. Delete your social media. And don’t fall for shameless marketing that takes advantage of the current political climate.

Opt out.

UPDATE: Six Months Without Social Media

It’s been six months since I deleted my social media accounts. Six months without constantly scrolling Twitter, without trying to build my Instagram following, and without constantly updating my Facebook page with upcoming show announcements.

After a month I finally started breaking the urge to check my phone every five minutes. Not having those apps on my phone or computer meant there was no need to constantly check my devices. Plus, eliminating those apps caused me to eliminate other apps that were wasting my time, too. Now my phone only has one main page of apps and I’m trying to whittle it down even more. I only use apps that are necessary for my business (banking, calendar, show tech, air travel, hotel), health (meal tracking, running tracker, gym membership), city use (parking, GPS, weather), productivity (to-do lists, reminders), and creativity (photo, video, podcasts, music).

No YouTube, no news apps, no e-mail, and no games. I’ve tried to make my phone as unappealing as possible. Deleting my social media was a gateway drug to eliminating even more distractions from my life and now I’M AN ADDICT! GIVE ME A HIT OF THAT PURE, UNINTERRUPTED FREE TIME BABY!!!!

That was my observation after one month. At that time I was curious about three other things:

1. Would anyone even notice I had left social media?
2. Would anyone try to talk me back onto it?
3. Would my business suffer?

The answer to number 1 is a resounding NO. No one cared. No one noticed I was gone and no one asked about it. The truth is, any friendships that mattered were real life, in-person relationships with my closest friends. Everything else online were shallow connections that were part of a total of “fans” or “followers”. They weren’t real friends and, as such, they didn’t know I went missing and I haven’t missed them either.

I’m still in touch with the people that matter and when we see each other we actually have things to talk about.

As for Number 2, there have been a few people tell me it’s a necessity for what I do. Management, agents, friends, even family have been somewhat insistent that social media is a requirement for success in my field. But, I’ve resisted their calls. If major celebrities can succeed without it, then surely I can, too. There have to be other ways to find success as an entertainer, right?

Which brings us to Number 3. Has my business suffered without social media?

NO! It hasn’t. If anything, it’s getting better because I have more time to focus on things that actually make my show and business better, without getting caught up in the constant need to create content for various online accounts. And, inquiries for my services have stayed the same which means people weren’t finding me through social media before and they definitely aren’t now.

There are a few annoying things. The media loves to quote twitter or instagram comments like it’s actual news. It’s ridiculous. And I’m blown away at how many times some of my friends say something like “Did you see such-and-such on facebook?” without realizing how weird it is to be so fully immersed in a world that only exists online.

After a few months, things got pretty normal without social media. I was using my phone differently. I was reading more and spending my time doing other things. I wasn’t thinking about other people’s instagram posts or worried about someone’s comment on my facebook feed. In fact, I wasn’t thinking about twitter, instagram, or facebook at all.

Then, just a couple weeks ago I realized something else interesting had happened to me. I was no longer feeling the impulse to share everything I saw. I mean, it had been happening for months but it was the first time I realized it. I wasn’t compelled to snap a photo of a sunset or the skyline for my followers any longer. I didn’t even want to take a photo at all. I was just experiencing things as they happened.

Without those impulses I’ve successfully been able to rewire my brain and return to life pre-social media. I was back to getting the most out of my day-to-day existence without the need for “likes” and “shares”.

When I see something interesting now I think of individual people that would enjoy it. It’s just so much better to think “Wow! Frank would really love that” and tell them about it, than needing to update my instagram story because I need to “stay current” or whatever.

When people find out I don’t have social media I’m usually met with the same response: “Oh, I’m so jealous! I wish I could do that.” Even so, they always have offer some pushback, too. Here’s a few concerns I’ve actually heard:

• “You don’t have social media? But, where do you get your memes?” (Kill me, now.)
• “Don’t you want to know what’s going on in the world?”
• “I can’t do that because my groups and clubs are on there…” (The list goes on and on.)

As Cal Newport writes in “Deep Work”, all of these concerns are very minor. They aren’t things that are contributing greatly to your life. If anything, these things are getting in the way of what (I suspect) you really wish you were doing.

Of all of those concerns the only one that really stands out is the need to be informed. Memes are a waste of time and your groups might feel important but are they really? Do you really think they’re making you better? Or, are they making you constantly compare yourself to other people or keeping your head filled with other people’s ideas? Just a thought…

Staying informed is important, especially in our current situation with the pandemic, protests, an election year, and the biggest race series of all-time. Without social media you can still be aware of what’s going on.

I read The New York Times (except for some of their awful op-eds), The Atlantic, and more. I listen to news podcasts and tune-in to limited news for major updates. And, I get neighborhood alerts when things like traffic shut-downs and protests are affecting my area. Yes, the information takes a little longer to get to me but that’s the idea. I don’t need to know things the moment they happen because that’s not a healthy way to live.

The interesting thing about everyone I’ve talked to is that it seems everyone hates their life on social media but they think it’s impossible to break away.

Up until now I’ve been telling people “I’m not telling you to delete social media, but it’s been really good for me” but I think I’m done with that. I want you to come over to the dark side with me.

QUIT SOCIAL MEDIA.

Do it. You’ll be so glad you did. You don’t need it like you think you do. And your life will be much better.

Do it because you’re reclaiming your time and using your hours for better things.

Do it because you care about your privacy.

Do it because social media companies are destroying democracy.

Do it because, deep down, you’ve been meaning to for a long time.

Now’s the time. Start today and you’re only six months behind me.

See you on the other side.

One Month Off Of Social Media

Today is officially one month since I deleted my social media accounts.

You know what? Life is pretty great.

Turns out you have a ton of time for the things you want to be doing when you aren’t spending hours mindlessly scrolling websites that are specifically designed to addict us.

The funny thing is that unless you've read this blog, virtually no one has noticed that I’m gone. No family members have reached out to see what’s going on, no friends have wondered what happened. I’ve had one person let me know they couldn’t find me on Facebook and another person try to send me a message on Instagram - WHY?! - and have to text me instead. Other than that, life is exactly the same.

With my newfound free time I’ve been writing and reading more. I wrote an entire script for a new show I’ve been working on, rewatched some of my favorite movies, and doubled my exercise routine. I’m not worried about what’s trending on Twitter or staying current on social media, I’m only focused on doing the things I enjoy and trying to get better at them each and every day.

Truthfully, it feels like I’ve been off of social media for at least six months. I really wasn’t posting much towards the end. The only difference now is that I can’t login. I can’t see my friends’ posts or scroll through their latest photos. I can’t access my messages and I’m not up on the latest gossip. 

I don’t miss it at all.

I was worried that being off of social media might hurt my career goals or keep me from being informed. Wrong! All of my work comes in the form of e-mail or phone calls, so I’m still just as busy. And I just got a New York Times subscription so I still read the articles and keep up with breaking news without people on both sides yelling at me about it.

Perhaps the most annoying thing of all is when people reference social media away from social media: “Did you see that thing on Facebook about…?” or “Have you seen my Instagram story?” That drives me crazy. I’m really focused on being right here right now and many people are too caught up in the latest online challenge or drama to actually be here with me.

The funny thing is I really believe that this is what most people want, too. They want to escape social media but they’re too scared to walk away.

Someone showed me a post on Instagram and I was unable to hide my boredom, simply saying “Oh, cool.” They seemed disappointed and I could sense a fleeting realization dart across their eyes, as if to say “Oh yeah, this is pretty dumb, isn’t it?” 

I caught up with another friend I hadn't seen for a couple months and asked how they were doing. They said “Well just got back from that trip I wrote about on Facebook and that’s about it.”

I told them I wasn’t on FB any more and therefore I had no idea what they were talking about. And they lit up! I miss that feeling, you know? We used to get such a rush when we had good news to share or something difficult to confide in someone. Now we hurry to the internet to share it with the world without worrying whether it’s helpful or harmful or anywhere in between.

When my friend realized I had deleted social media he started to tell me about where he’d been and what he’d been up to. I could tell he was excited but also that he never did this. No one ever approached a conversation with him without already knowing most of the details. As a result, he’d forgotten how to tell a story. There was no beginning, middle, and end. Turns out when you only have 240 characters to get your point across you start to lose the ability to do it with more.

I think most people are desperate to get off of social media but they don’t know how. It’s simple: you just do it. Stay off for a day. If that goes well, make it a week. Then, go for longer. And don’t fall for the trap that you won’t log on or post but you’ll hang onto the account in case you need to “keep in touch with family or friends”. That’s an easy excuse. You need to delete it if you ever want to rid yourself of the constant impulse you have to sign in and start scrolling. If you really want to keep in touch with someone you’ll find a way. And you won’t have to rely on someone else’s platform to do so.

I’ve been convinced for years that I needed social media to be a good citizen and a successful entrepreneur but it’s not true. That’s just a lie we’ve been sold by corporations in Silicon Valley. You’ll be fine without it.

There was a moment a few months ago when I saw a post on social media that drove me crazy. I fumed about it for hours. I couldn’t get it off my mind. I called my wife to complain and woke up in the middle of the night angry about it.

Then, I stopped.

“What the hell am I doing?” I thought. "This isn't me. How am I letting a few lines of text on a screen get to me so much? Why does it matter? This is not worth my time.” That was the final straw. I’d been thinking about it forever - it was time to finally pull the plug.

That post was cleverly designed to elicit a reaction. That was the whole goal. Someone wanted to stoke the fire and stir up some controversy. They wanted me to complain and get mad and share it with anger and click and comment and write letters to the editor. They wanted to take up a small part of my brain and a large part of my time. And it worked - it fucking worked - but I refuse to let it work on me again.

My wife also deleted her social media last year. She told someone at a party a while back and they said, “But how do you keep up with memes?

Kill me now.

If the main reason you’re on social media is to keep up with memes then you may need to reassess your life. My favorite moments in life have never been on my phone. It’s not a photo or a video or an app or a gadget. It’s not a hashtag or an online challenge or a viral video. My favorite moments are always with people in places doing things that I’ll never forget: seeing the Grand Tetons, riding horseback through North Dakota, skydiving, performing in Dubai, getting married to Stephanie, seeing the ocean for the first time, and more.

I think the reason our phones are so addictive and social media is so popular is that we, as humans, really hate being alone with our thoughts. We don’t like the silence and we hate being bored.

I’m the opposite.

I want to get lost in my thoughts. I want to understand things and philosophize and have long discussions with people about life’s big questions.

I like long runs or car rides or flights where I can get lost in my own head. Being alone with my thoughts gives me time to dream up new essay topics or ideas for my show. Sometimes my thoughts go other places: I can’t get over that dumb thing I said the night before or something embarrassing I said many years ago. But that’s part of life! Coping with difficult feelings is an important and necessary part of my existence. Understanding where I come from, who I am, and how it’s made me into the person I am now are all important parts of getting older and being alive. I want to feel all the feelings and think all of the thoughts…not just the good ones.

Allowing ourselves to be alone with our thoughts is essential. “Oh, that sounds horrible, Mark!” I hear you say. It only sounds horrible because you’ve forgotten how great it can be. You’re so busy distracting yourself with hashtags and trending topics that you’ve forgotten that those things aren’t making you a better person.

Being alone with your ideas, free of distractions and noise, will make you feel more creative, smarter, and less cynical. You’ll start to understand why you have certain opinions, without needing a headline to tell you what to think and feel. You’ll start to dream again, saying “What if I did something like this…?” and remember how exciting it is to actually do something for yourself without needing to show it off to strangers on a website. 

I promise you: it’s worth it.

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Other Thoughts:

• Here’s my reading list for 2020.

• Go here for upcoming shows in Chicago.

• Some big announcements coming soon in 2020 but for now, I’m mostly excited to do shows, run some more races, and travel. Thanks for reading and I hope the new year is off to a great start for you!

In The Moment

The best part about what I do is that it requires me to be fully in the moment. Since my act involves audience participation I have to be engaged and present for each and every show.

I work hard to remember people’s names and pay attention for little moments that may occur during my performance. Sometimes people spill a drink or call out a funny joke. Sometimes they say something silly or can’t follow simple instructions. Being in the moment allows me to comment on those situations and often those tiny ad-libs become the most memorable part of the show.

I’m acutely aware of how many people in the world are NOT living in the moment. I go through the checkout line at the store and the cashier doesn’t even look me in the eye. People run into me on the sidewalk because they can’t look up from their phone. Everyone is distracted; thinking about something else, doing two things at once, planning for the next thing.

I feel alive when I’m doing my show because I’m hyper-aware of my surroundings. I can hear who’s laughing the hardest and can see when someone isn’t enjoying it. And I choose to comment on those things to bring people closer together. I want them to think to themselves, “Wow, this is special. This is new and different…and only for us!”

I was talking about this to another performer recently and commented on how hard I work just to remember people’s names, let alone other details about them and special moments in the room.

He said, “Oh, I never bother to remember their names. It’s too much work. The second they say their name I’ve already forgotten it.”

TOO MUCH WORK? You have an opportunity to make people happy and give them a feeling of joy and amazement and you say it’s “too much work”? Unbelievable.

To me that performer’s outlook seems to mirror our daily lives. Most of the time we’re just a number in line at the DMV or the randomly selected person who gets an extra screening when going through TSA. Those moments aren’t personal. Our whole life is becoming an endless string of absentminded baristas, lazy store clerks, and unhelpful receptionists. No one is willing to do the work to be present for one another.

The job of a performer is a true gift to the world. We get to connect with people in a way that they so desperately yearn for. They want to be seen and heard and feel like they were truly part of something. You can’t do the same show you always do because the audience will see right through it. You can’t phone it in and not show up. You have to be in the moment.

I don’t care how amazing the new iPhone is. I don’t care what latest gadget is on your wrist or turning on your lights. I don’t care what’s happening on Twitter or Instagram. Those things are poor substitutes for living in the here and now. But, as we continue to settle for mediocre customer service and distracted friends and coworkers, we’ve forgotten how amazing it feels to really be part of something in the present.

Being present is an incredible feeling, but you have to put your phone down and look around. You have to really see what’s going on. That’s why I love what I do and try to be onstage as often as possible. And I’ve been taking that feeling offstage and trying to make the most out of every moment of my everyday life, too.

Those texts can wait. The e-mails aren't your biggest priority. I promise you. Put your phone on silent and pay attention to what’s happening in front of you. All that matters is this moment right here and right now…and I’m fully immersed in it.

Are you?

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Other Thoughts:

• This past Saturday I woke up at 3am to watch Eliud Kipchoge run a marathon in under 2 hours. Tears were streaming down my face when he finished the race. It was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen so if you haven’t seen the last kilometer yet check it out here.

• What I’m Reading Right Now: “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed” by Jon Ronson.

• Check out this week’s video below…and be sure to subscribe for more!

Why I'm Deleting My Social Media

That’s right, I’m finally taking the plunge. I’m going to delete all of my social media accounts.

Here are the main reasons why:

• Time - I’ve spent way too much time on it the past decade or more. I want that time back. I want to spend those hours with my wife. I want more time to run and write and take road trips and travel and go to the movies and all of the stuff that makes life worth living. I’m doing all of those things now, but imagine getting to do them even more!

• Creativity - I want to avoid what other people are doing in an effort to keep finding my voice. I don’t want to be influenced by other people’s videos or photos or shows or ideas. I just want to find my own little corner, keep my head down, and do things that make me happy.

• It Doesn’t Matter - We’ve become convinced that you need social media to survive in 2019. How else will we stay connected? How else will we promote our events? How else can people contact you? The truth is, my best professional opportunities, personal connections, events, and contacts have all happened offline. We don’t need it to be successful, we’ve just forgotten how to do it in other ways.

• Mental Health - In an effort to improve my mental health I’ve been limiting my online activity for months now. My anxiety and depression has gone away and I’ve been much happier, but the impulse to log on is still there and I want to replace that impulse with something else.

• Privacy - This is a no brainer, right? I’m tired of ads following me around, companies knowing too much about me, and social networks gathering my data for who-knows-what. I’m taking back some control over my information.

• Mystery - I want more mystery in my life. I don’t want to know your baby’s name or what you ate for lunch. I don’t need to know about your political opinions and I won’t be RSVP’ing to your next event. It’s not that I don’t care - it’s that I want to actually have something to talk about the next time I see you. It’s better that way.

I’ve read many books this year about ways to “break up with your phone” or limit your screen time. They all talk about ways to trick yourself into using your phone less. They tell you to set timers, use a “dumb phone”, delete the apps from your phone for awhile, and so on…but I don’t think they go far enough.

We’ve created this problem - the incessant need to be on our devices, constantly sharing with one another - and now people are trying to create a solution, without thinking that maybe you could just eliminate the thing that go us into this mess in the first place.

Someone came up to me after a show a few weeks ago, wanting to talk about mystery and how my mantra was resonating with them. They told me how they’d recently been to their high school reunion and that they noticed something that paralleled with my show.

“Everyone knew everything about each other,” they told me. They knew how many kids their classmates had, where they’d travelled to, what their careers were, and so on. There was no mystery, no joy in discovering something new about another person. There was nothing left to talk about.

So yeah, I’m deleting my social media accounts. I want to live the life that I’m talking about onstage. (I’m only keeping YouTube, since I greatly enjoy making videos, but everything else will be gone by the end of the month.)

Am I excited? Yes, absolutely. There are a few loose ends to tie up, then it’s all going away. Then it’ll just be me, my wife, coffee, good books, and my Olivetti Lettera 32. I can’t freaking wait.

Is it a dumb move? Possibly. I’m sure if I had a full-time manager they’d tell me I was crazy, but that’s the great part about being self-employed and only having to answer to myself.

Will I regret it? No way. I’ve never been able to move the needle on social media like I have with my live shows. I would rather connect with people in the real world then spend my time scheduling posts and shamelessly self-promoting to no end. I’ve thought about this for long enough, it’s time to follow through.

That being said, there are still a few ways to keep up with what I’m doing:

• Subscribe on YouTube

• See The Mystery Show (don’t tell anyone).

• Come see a show.

• Join my Thursday Thoughts mailing list so you never miss a post.

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Other Thoughts:

• I just finished my six-week run at Liberty Magic in Pittsburgh. The show got fantastic reviews. It was a great experience and I hope to go back for another residency again sometime soon.

• Check out this clip of some mind reading on Jim Krenn’s “No Restrictions” podcast:

That’s it for this week. Thanks for reading.

Finish The Damn Thing!

At a show last weekend someone came up to me and said “Hey, are you still writing your Thursday Thoughts?”

I assured them I still was and that I post them regularly on my website. Turns out, he used to see them weekly on Facebook and wasn’t seeing them anymore.

As a result of my push to get off of social media and limit my screen time, it appears that FB has punished me with limited visibility. It seems stupid that an app designed to connect us all controls how connected we can be.

So yes, I’m still writing Thursday Thoughts. And yes, I’ll keep sharing them on social media. But if you want to make sure you never miss a post I set up a mailing list so you can get these essays delivered straight to your inbox every Thursday.

Only join the list if you want to keep up with my blog. (If you’re looking for updates about my upcoming TV projects or tour dates, join the list at the bottom of my website.)

I’m going to be shifting my approach to Thursday Thoughts over the next several months. I want to share helpful, digestible content that is useful to you - along with my existing personal essays about life on the road. And I want to make sure you see it, so do me a favor and click the button below to sign up:

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I’ve been thinking lately about finishing projects.

I just ordered a new mattress and it sat in a warehouse for a week until I called to follow up. Then, out of the blue, the company did a same-day delivery. An otherwise perfect shopping experience was clouded by an unorganized, slow shipping process.

If you’re going to do something, then go all the way. Finish the damn thing!

Promise something and deliver. Simple as that.

If I hadn’t called I’m pretty sure the mattress would still be on a truck somewhere. It’s almost like the company worked really hard to get my business then stopped providing good customer service once I was a customer.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

You should work hard to get a customer, then work even harder once they’ve trusted you with their business. Customer service should be for the entire transaction - not just for the start of things.

This got me thinking about some of my own personal projects…

For instance, I’ve written a few TV episodes and a couple years ago I tried to get them picked up. I had a dozen meetings with agents, then with production companies, then with networks. The process dragged on for a year and amounted to nothing. So I thought to myself: “Why don’t I just make this myself?”

So I started rewriting it for a more run-and-gun, guerrilla style shoot. Then I started planning and preparing. And now…I’m just sitting on it.

Why? I don’t know.

Maybe because it’s easier to keep thinking about the thing instead of actually following through. If I keep brainstorming then it’s like I’m tricking myself into working on it, without having to face criticism, failure, or even a successful reception.

Maybe it’s because I know I’m good at one thing but not another. And it’s easier to put it off than embrace being an amateur.

Or, maybe I’m just a quitter. It's easy to get discouraged after you spend so long trying to accomplish something.

I think all of those might be true. But I don’t want an idea - good or bad- to be left undone. So I’m gonna finish the damn thing. I’m gonna make it happen. I’ve done everything else, so I need to see it through to the end.

Otherwise, the idea might as well be rolling around on a truck somewhere with no expected delivery date.

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Here’s something you should try:

This year, I’ve been writing to people that inspire me. I’ve written to authors, designers, friends, actors, etc. I’ve written to people overseas and down the block. Anytime I say to myself “Wow, this person is fascinating!” I make a mental note to let them know I feel that way.

When I say write, I don’t mean social media. I mean actually writing a letter.

I prefer my typewriter, if possible. If I can’t find a mailing address then I write a brief e-mail.

I usually just say a few things about how the person has inspired me, how I found their work, and what it means to me.

The return rate is amazing. Every single person has gotten back to me. Sometimes it’s a quick sentence or two, but typically it’s a much longer response.

I love sending something meaningful off and wondering if I’ll get anything back. When it does arrive, there’s a magical, mysterious quality to it.

It means that somewhere in the world, this person that inspired me felt compelled to write back. They had to sit down and actively think about their response instead of clicking “like” on a screen. They had to actually take the time to respond.

It’s incredible.

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Here’s what I’ve been reading:

• The Power of Moments - As a person who creates memorable moments for a living, I find this book fascinating. But it’s useful for anyone looking to create meaningful moments in their everyday life.

• Educated - I can’t believe it took me so long to start reading this. It’s unbelievably good.

• The Coddling of the American Mind - Really enjoying this and perfectly suited to our current political climate.

If you’re on Spotify here are some summer vibes for you:

Finally, you have two chances left to see MIND READER at the Chicago Magic Lounge. We’ve been packed every Wednesday since March so don’t miss your chance to see it!

After that, I’m off to Pittsburgh to perform at Liberty Magic for six weeks. All dates, showtimes, and ticket info can be found here.