UPDATE: Six Months Without Social Media

It’s been six months since I deleted my social media accounts. Six months without constantly scrolling Twitter, without trying to build my Instagram following, and without constantly updating my Facebook page with upcoming show announcements.

After a month I finally started breaking the urge to check my phone every five minutes. Not having those apps on my phone or computer meant there was no need to constantly check my devices. Plus, eliminating those apps caused me to eliminate other apps that were wasting my time, too. Now my phone only has one main page of apps and I’m trying to whittle it down even more. I only use apps that are necessary for my business (banking, calendar, show tech, air travel, hotel), health (meal tracking, running tracker, gym membership), city use (parking, GPS, weather), productivity (to-do lists, reminders), and creativity (photo, video, podcasts, music).

No YouTube, no news apps, no e-mail, and no games. I’ve tried to make my phone as unappealing as possible. Deleting my social media was a gateway drug to eliminating even more distractions from my life and now I’M AN ADDICT! GIVE ME A HIT OF THAT PURE, UNINTERRUPTED FREE TIME BABY!!!!

That was my observation after one month. At that time I was curious about three other things:

1. Would anyone even notice I had left social media?
2. Would anyone try to talk me back onto it?
3. Would my business suffer?

The answer to number 1 is a resounding NO. No one cared. No one noticed I was gone and no one asked about it. The truth is, any friendships that mattered were real life, in-person relationships with my closest friends. Everything else online were shallow connections that were part of a total of “fans” or “followers”. They weren’t real friends and, as such, they didn’t know I went missing and I haven’t missed them either.

I’m still in touch with the people that matter and when we see each other we actually have things to talk about.

As for Number 2, there have been a few people tell me it’s a necessity for what I do. Management, agents, friends, even family have been somewhat insistent that social media is a requirement for success in my field. But, I’ve resisted their calls. If major celebrities can succeed without it, then surely I can, too. There have to be other ways to find success as an entertainer, right?

Which brings us to Number 3. Has my business suffered without social media?

NO! It hasn’t. If anything, it’s getting better because I have more time to focus on things that actually make my show and business better, without getting caught up in the constant need to create content for various online accounts. And, inquiries for my services have stayed the same which means people weren’t finding me through social media before and they definitely aren’t now.

There are a few annoying things. The media loves to quote twitter or instagram comments like it’s actual news. It’s ridiculous. And I’m blown away at how many times some of my friends say something like “Did you see such-and-such on facebook?” without realizing how weird it is to be so fully immersed in a world that only exists online.

After a few months, things got pretty normal without social media. I was using my phone differently. I was reading more and spending my time doing other things. I wasn’t thinking about other people’s instagram posts or worried about someone’s comment on my facebook feed. In fact, I wasn’t thinking about twitter, instagram, or facebook at all.

Then, just a couple weeks ago I realized something else interesting had happened to me. I was no longer feeling the impulse to share everything I saw. I mean, it had been happening for months but it was the first time I realized it. I wasn’t compelled to snap a photo of a sunset or the skyline for my followers any longer. I didn’t even want to take a photo at all. I was just experiencing things as they happened.

Without those impulses I’ve successfully been able to rewire my brain and return to life pre-social media. I was back to getting the most out of my day-to-day existence without the need for “likes” and “shares”.

When I see something interesting now I think of individual people that would enjoy it. It’s just so much better to think “Wow! Frank would really love that” and tell them about it, than needing to update my instagram story because I need to “stay current” or whatever.

When people find out I don’t have social media I’m usually met with the same response: “Oh, I’m so jealous! I wish I could do that.” Even so, they always have offer some pushback, too. Here’s a few concerns I’ve actually heard:

• “You don’t have social media? But, where do you get your memes?” (Kill me, now.)
• “Don’t you want to know what’s going on in the world?”
• “I can’t do that because my groups and clubs are on there…” (The list goes on and on.)

As Cal Newport writes in “Deep Work”, all of these concerns are very minor. They aren’t things that are contributing greatly to your life. If anything, these things are getting in the way of what (I suspect) you really wish you were doing.

Of all of those concerns the only one that really stands out is the need to be informed. Memes are a waste of time and your groups might feel important but are they really? Do you really think they’re making you better? Or, are they making you constantly compare yourself to other people or keeping your head filled with other people’s ideas? Just a thought…

Staying informed is important, especially in our current situation with the pandemic, protests, an election year, and the biggest race series of all-time. Without social media you can still be aware of what’s going on.

I read The New York Times (except for some of their awful op-eds), The Atlantic, and more. I listen to news podcasts and tune-in to limited news for major updates. And, I get neighborhood alerts when things like traffic shut-downs and protests are affecting my area. Yes, the information takes a little longer to get to me but that’s the idea. I don’t need to know things the moment they happen because that’s not a healthy way to live.

The interesting thing about everyone I’ve talked to is that it seems everyone hates their life on social media but they think it’s impossible to break away.

Up until now I’ve been telling people “I’m not telling you to delete social media, but it’s been really good for me” but I think I’m done with that. I want you to come over to the dark side with me.

QUIT SOCIAL MEDIA.

Do it. You’ll be so glad you did. You don’t need it like you think you do. And your life will be much better.

Do it because you’re reclaiming your time and using your hours for better things.

Do it because you care about your privacy.

Do it because social media companies are destroying democracy.

Do it because, deep down, you’ve been meaning to for a long time.

Now’s the time. Start today and you’re only six months behind me.

See you on the other side.

"Deep Work" by Cal Newport | My Favorite Books #2

There came a point a few years ago when I realized I had lost the ability to fully focus on anything I was doing. I couldn’t finish a news article, I’d get distracted while writing, I couldn’t go two minutes at the gym without checking my phone. I was always the sort of person who could fully concentrate on an idea or a project until it was finished. So what had changed?

Well, quite a lot.

For one, I was addicted to my phone. I’d grown accustomed to always being connect no matter where I was. I’d scroll twitter in the elevator, text in line at airport security, and watch youtube videos to fall asleep.

Plus, I was caught up in the constant need to be as productive as possible. My inbox became my biggest nemesis. I’d check emails all hours of the day and respond as quickly as possible.

Not to mention: social media, the constant distractions of being self-employed, television, and more.

I had a problem.

So, I fixed it. I read “Deep Work” by Cal Newport.

If you’re in the same state I was in, then this book just might be life-changing for you, too.

Newport coined the phrase “deep work” and defines it as follows:

“Activities performed in a state of distraction-free concentration that push your cognitive capabilities to their limits.”

He favors deep work - intensive, thoughtful tasks that are difficult but worthwhile - such as writing difficult papers, books, skilled trades, and more, over shallow work, such as checking e-mail and scrolling social media. Reading his approach to his own work really shifted my own focus back onto mine.

Here were a few of my takeaways:

1. Don’t spend as much time on social media. (I took this to heart and deleted all of mine at the end of 2019. More on that later this week.)
2. Set your work hours and stick to it. Newport shows how he was able to maximize his productivity with deep work, while sticking to a strict work schedule which allowed him to still have time for other projects and his family.
3. Recognize the shallow work in your life and work to avoid it. A main part of this was social media (see #1 above) but there were other aspects in my life, including watching mindless TV, checking my email too often, or even agreeing to commitments I didn’t want to be a part of. I eliminated distractions on my phone, starting saying “No” to things I didn’t want to do, and prioritized my time for the things that I wanted to be doing.

When I read a book or article I really enjoy I always make the attempt to reach out to the author and let them know. However, Cal Newport is really hard to get a hold of. He doesn’t publicize his e-mail and he doesn’t use social media. If you try to write him through his website chances are he won’t respond, and he likes it that way. I admire that - he has sought out seclusion for the sole purpose of pure, uninterrupted creativity and focus. Sounds like an incredible way to live, don’t you agree?

I have a long way to go on my “Deep Work” journey but it’s made a huge difference in the work I do and how satisfied I am with my efforts. I’m hoping to continue on this path to learn even quicker and produce at an even higher level.

If you’re anything like me, I’m guessing if you force yourself to recognize how you’re spending your time you’ll wish you’d read “Deep Work” a lot sooner and put it into practice. I know I do.

As Cal Newport says, “Clarity about what matters provides clarity about what does not.”

Moving On and Getting Older

I turned 33 this week.

33 is my favorite number, so this is destined to be a good year. (It was my basketball jersey number when I was younger…I was a big fan of Larry Bird.)

I spent my birthday doing a show in Tennessee. I woke up at 3am to catch a flight, drove through the mountains to get to Chattanooga and worked from 4pm-1am. It was a pretty typical work day and that’s okay. Some of my favorite birthdays as an adult have just been typical days performing or being at home.

Every time I see an “it’s my birthday” blog post online it seems that people list out all of their huge career accomplishments from the previous year and goals for the year ahead. I’m sure I’ve been guilty of that before myself…but I’m approaching this year differently.

This past year I’ve made some big changes in my life. I stopped using my phone as much, limited my social media use, and prioritized myself. I’ve been doing more of what I enjoy - running, writing, reading, filmmaking - and it’s really improved my daily outlook.

Instead of worrying about my professional goals for the year ahead I’m going to keep putting myself first. Sure, I still have big ambitions for my show and career, but those are mostly out of my control. I need to be content with where I end up, whether I fully achieve those goals or not.

My personal goals are another story. So, while I’m 33 I plan on focusing on me, including the following:

That’s a lot of hardware!

• HEALTH: This year I’ve lost 25 pounds just by committing to healthy eating and going to the gym. I’m lucky to be tall and carry my weight well, so you probably couldn’t even tell I’d gotten a little overweight. But I was.

  After I fractured my ankle and broke a toe in the same week last summer I was unable to do any physical activity. So, I hibernated last winter and ate whatever I wanted. But, once the sun came out in the spring I got my head on straight and went back to running. I set my sights on a half marathon and spent all summer training. I ran a myriad of races - 5Ks, 10Ks, 10 milers - to keep myself motivated. I haven’t missed a run all year. And last Sunday I finished my first half marathon - 5 minutes under my goal pace. I was PUMPED.

  Over the next year I plan on logging more miles and running even more races. I want to run a couple more half marathons next year and maybe even attempt a triathlon. I’m fortunate that I recovered from my injuries and feel stronger than ever. And now I plan on getting in the best shape of my life.

• CREATIVITY: I want to write a book. And a screenplay. And a TV series and a stage play and a children’s story. I want to make short films and start a podcast. I want to give stand-up comedy a shot. Anytime I think up an idea I want to turn it into a reality.

  I’m working on transforming my home office into a creative paradise. I’m removing distractions like the Internet, social media, Netflix, my phone, television, etc. from the space and only having creative tools within arm’s reach. There’s a computer for editing video, my typewriter for writing, microphones for podcast, my books for research, and my props for rehearsal. I have everything I need.

  The final step is to focus on what matters most. I’m going to have to say “NO” to friends and family that want my time. I’m going to turn down work that I don’t want to do so I can focus on the work I want to be doing. I want to reengineer my life so I can do as much “deep work” as possible.

• LEARNING: I’ve spent so much time the past decade searching for work and traveling to gigs that for a while I stopped learning new things. I was too exhausted to read or study, so I’d binge a Netflix show instead or scroll Twitter instead. Enough is enough.

  Now that I’m a little more established, I can actually step away from work sometimes and do other things. And this year, I’ve been trying to educate myself more. I’ve been working on video editing, studying the courses on Masterclass, and reading like crazy. There’s nothing better.

  My goal for the next year is to learn more. I used to be able to juggle 5 balls but I can’t any more. So I’m going to teach myself all over again. I’m working on some new video projects so I can practice my FCPX skills. I’ve been getting better at chess and think I might join the club here in the city. And, of course, I plan on reading even more.

  Next year I hope to read 66 books. That’s 33 non-fiction and 33 fiction. I have a list of some must-reads already, but I’d love your recommendations. Comment below or drop me a line here.

• TRAVEL: My final endeavor while I’m 33 is to see more of the world. I went to a ton of amazing places last year but they were all for work. This year I want to do more personal trips. Either I’ll extend work trips into a personal visit or I’ll take a few days off every few months so I can see new places.

  I want to take three main trips, which I just randomly chose right now. A road trip around Lake Michigan, Sequioa National Park, and somewhere in the Caribbean. I want them all to be getaways so I have some time away from work to read, unplug, and relax. (Stephanie, if you’re reading this…you’re invited, too.)

So that’s it. Those are my hopes for the next twelve months. For now, I’m happy to be alive, healthy, and inspired.

It’s going to be a good year.

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Other Thoughts:

• Here’s a fun video from a recent show in Chicago:

• Are you subscribed to my YouTube Channel?

• I’ve really been enjoying this book lately. And, I plan on making the strategies in it part of my every day life.