Out Of The Box

For several years running I’ve enjoyed presenting my work at a high school club in the north Chicago suburbs. It’s a fun group because they have a different person come in and speak about their respective career each week. The only requirement is that the careers are a little “out of the box” and mine definitely is.

Last month I spoke to the group again, only this time over Zoom. Each of the students was logged on from their own computer at home, along with their instructor. I spoke a little bit about what I do then shared part of the virtual show I’ve been presenting this year for my clients around the world. They were blown away.

However, the best part wasn’t performing for them. It never is. The best part was answering their questions and sharing advice about taking the path less traveled.

One student asked: “Why do you keep coming to our meetings?”

I paused and thought about it…

My mind raced back to all of the shows I’d done professionally over the past decade, back to my time at theater school studying acting, improv, writing, and more. I thought back to doing community theater and winning a state championship for improvised duet acting. I thought about all the people I’d seen perform growing up: actors, singers, speakers, dancers, magicians, jugglers, athletes, musicians, and more. I thought about every show I’d ever seen and how inspired they made me feel to pursue a career in the arts.

Those thoughts flashed through my mind in an instant, then I replied,

“I grew up in a small town and there wasn’t anyone that did what I do for miles. But occasionally when I did see someone doing it, it helped me realize that it was possible. It helped me know that it might be out of the box but it’s not out of the question. If you all can see me doing something unique and different then it’s a good reminder that you can do something unique, too. I don’t expect you all to be mind readers one day, but maybe you want to be an actress or make movies. Maybe you want to go to theater school or start your own business. Maybe you want to do something a little different…just like me. Well, that’s why I keep coming to share my story with you - so you can see that it’s possible.”

Life is funny sometimes. One moment you’re just a kid working hard and trying to do your best. You look up to the experts around you for help and advice and inspiration. Then all of a sudden you wake up one day and realize you aren’t a kid anymore and now people who need help are looking up to you. I’m no expert but I am proof that you can not only think out of the box but you can live outside of it, too.

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RELATED POSTS

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About Mark Toland

Mark Toland is an award-winning mind reader and two-time TEDx Speaker. His mind blowing skills have been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, NPR, WGN, Sirius XM, and more. Mark’s blog is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a professional entertainer, full of creative thoughts for creative people. Sign up below so you’ll never miss a post.

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Less Of The Same

In college, when I was first dating my wife, we used to rent a movie to watch together almost every night. Back then we had to go to Blockbuster to pick something out.

It was always an event. We’d slowly walk the aisles and see what caught our fancy. Sometimes it was something new - an action flick or an Oscar winner, perhaps - and other times we might go for a classic. I remember jolting across the store, excitedly holding up a DVD to show Stephanie.

“This one!” I’d say in a whisper.

She’d smile and get excited, too. Then we’d wait in line, head home, and check another film off our must-see list.

I was thinking this week about how much I miss that.

These days everything feels the same. I shop for groceries, talk to clients, watch movies, read the news, order supplies, and fill my time all in one 1920x1080 window. It’s cold and lifeless and unenjoyable. There’s no separation between one activity and the next. None of it feels special. Everything happens on a screen and it all blurs together. Every single day it’s more of the same.

When you browse through Netflix in search of a new movie, you’re being shown a set of films chosen by an algorithm. It’s all based on your previous viewing history and what a computer thinks you might enjoy. But when we would walk around Blockbuster it wasn’t anything like that. There was no mission — we were waiting for a film to catch our eye and call out to us.

Sometimes it would be the box art, like a shiny case or bright colors. Other times it might be an employee pick or a recommended film. And sometimes we’d just take a gamble on a film and get really lucky. However we chose, though, it was our choice and that made it special.

We spent so much time at Blockbuster that we came up with a game to play while we were browsing the racks. We’d look at the other people in the store and see if we could match them to their car out front, based only on their looks and behavior. Sometimes we’d have to mosey around the store for twenty minutes, just so we could wait for someone to leave and see if we were right.

Those are the little moments that I miss most. Each activity was accompanied by its own unique set of characteristics: a special aroma, an endless list of inside jokes, background noise, and an atmosphere all its own. Now there’s a sameness to everything that makes it hard for me to recall when I stopped doing one activity and started the next. I’ve grown weary of that — I want less of the same.

The pandemic has exacerbated this problem. Running errands right now is a huge hassle. Lines are long, there are too many rules, and the neighborhood still feels weird. It’s just easier to automate those things, so we find ourselves ordering things online to avoid the chaos. It’s just so convenient. But I miss browsing the aisles and picking stuff out for myself. I miss being able to differentiate between the various parts of my day.

It’s not only the pandemic, though. This has been happening for a very long time. That’s why I’m on the search for more mystery. I want more things in my life to remind me of those little moments that make life worth living — typewriters, cameras, classic movies, you name it. And, I even have a podcast in the works, too.

If it seems like I’m always going on about this that’s because it’s literally all I think about. I’m more sedentary than I’ve ever been in my life. All of my work is on a computer right now and a good deal of my spare time seems to involve a screen, too. It’s driving me nuts. So, I’ve been forcing myself to break free of my addictions and search for memorable experiences in other ways.

As I often say, none of my favorite experiences have ever taken place on a screen. Not a single one. In fifty years I’m not going to count any of my screen time amongst my favorite memories. My favorite memories are all moments in the real world — when enthusiasm and serendipity collide in an unexpected and unforgettable fashion. Those are the things I’ll always remember.

There are too many to name here, but I’ll leave you with one…

It’s 2008, I’m meandering around Blockbuster looking for the perfect movie. Stephanie is somewhere else in the store, doing the same. We’re on the hunt.

And then, at the back of the store, I see it. The one. The ideal film, almost glistening in the light.

I reach for it and as I do my hand meets someone else’s hand and I look up to see Stephanie’s face. We die laughing.

“This one!”

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RELATED POSTS

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About Mark Toland

Mark Toland is an award-winning mind reader and two-time TEDx Speaker. His mind blowing skills have been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, NPR, WGN, Sirius XM, and more. Mark’s blog is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a professional entertainer, full of creative thoughts for creative people. Sign up below so you’ll never miss a post.

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You Only Cry Once

FADE IN

INT. EVENING - UNKNOWN ELECTRONICS STORE

A man lurks in the shadows, pacing back and forth.

STORE CLERK (O.S.)
Have you made a decision, Mr. Bond?

007 walks forward out of the shadows and stops next to an array of shiny, expensive looking gadgets.

JAMES BOND
I don’t have much of a choice, do I?
If I’m going to track them down I’ll
need the best machine that money can buy.

CUT TO: Thursday Thoughts

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As a solopreneur you will inevitably find yourself needing to invest in some specific gear or materials for your business. For me that’s been technical equipment, travel gear, props, wardrobe, marketing materials, and professional assistance from people who possess skills in areas that I do not.

Something I wish I’d learned early on is that anytime I needed to buy any of those things I should have bought the best equipment possible. I should have invested in the best computer or the best camera or the best…whatever.

Yes, it’s expensive to buy the best gear. But any time I purchase a cheaper model I end up having to replace it multiple times and spending even more than I would have on the nicest gear in the first place.

A good move I made many years ago was to invest in some quality sound gear. I was doing a New Year’s Eve event outside St. Louis and the technician for the event was phenomenal. We ended up chatting for a couple hours before I took the stage. I picked his brain on gear - specifically options that would be useful for my work as a traveling, one-person crew. A week after the event I bit the bullet and ordered the gear.

Oh, it hurt. I definitely couldn’t afford it at the time. We had just moved into our first house and I was freelancing all over the place to make ends meet. But, I had a vision for what I wanted to be doing and what sort of gear would benefit my shows long-term. So I pulled the trigger and ordered that microphone.

That was over 7 years ago and I’m still using it to this day.

The same goes for my luggage. For years I dragged a couple dingy suitcases around the world. I’d watch in horror as the flight crew would carelessly throw them onto the plane or they’d come tumbling down the baggage claim. They were always in need of being replaced.

I remember speaking with another performer who said “I buy new suitcases once a year.” The HORROR! I don’t consider myself a fortune teller but I could definitely NOT see myself buying suitcases every year for the rest of my life.

So, I did my research and found a better option. (Away for anyone who’s interested, and NOT a sponsor.) I’ve been doing more shows than ever the past few years and giving my Away bags a beating. They were a little expensive initially but they’ve saved me in the long run. And yes, I’m still using them.

Now before you run out and buy all those you things you want, there is a bit of a caveat to all of this. You need to ask yourself some questions first:

Can I afford it? Do I need this? Do I need this right now? Can I wait to order this?

I’m not telling you to buy everything you need this instant. I’m telling you to invest wisely. And part of investing wisely is knowing what will benefit you, both short-term and long-term.

If you quit your job to start a YouTube Channel, you probably don’t want to buy the best camera gear out there right away. But that doesn’t mean you should just buy whatever you can afford. Do some research and find the best option in your price range. Eventually, you can upgrade it to a better model when the time is right.

Also, don’t fall into the trap of thinking gear will make you better. I built my business early on with what I had: affordable props, tattered suitcases, an ill-fitting suit. I had to get by as best I could and not worry about what else was out there. When the time was right I started upgrading my gear piece by piece. I prioritized what mattered most: sound equipment, travel gear, etc.

There are entire Hollywood movies being filmed on iPhones. The nicest gear isn’t just going to magically make your problems go away. Double down on the gear you already own and make the most of it.

Another key to all of this is to be able to recognize your own strengths so that you can make smart investments in your business.

For instance, I really enjoy puzzles. I love jigsaw puzzles, logic problems, math, and more. Expertly packing a car for a long road trip brings me immense satisfaction. A puzzle that I really enjoy is video editing. I spend hours experimenting with little projects, just to see if I can make something that I dreamed up happen onscreen. Most of those projects go unshared. It’s really just a fun hobby for me. But, occasionally I edit something for my work like this new demo for Virtual Shows:

I taught myself video editing software because it interested me. And I’m willing to spend long hours working on a project. But that might not be true for you. So maybe instead of investing in the camera gear, software, computer, hard drive, and online courses, you would be better off hiring someone to do it for you.

You may not have the time to learn everything that goes along with your business. Or, it may not interest you whatsoever. Finding someone who can help you in those areas is always a wise decision. It will give you more time to devote to the things you are good at and the end product will meet your expectations because you hired a pro to do it.

This entire post was inspired by two quotes that my wife has heard through her work as a photographer. Obviously, photographers have to invest in expensive gear for their projects and this topic is something that comes up quite often.

The first quote is that when you are thinking about investing in something you should always ask yourself “Will this make my ship go faster?”

I like that sentiment because it forces you to ask the right question. You need to know what you’re investing in and if that investment will pay off over time. If what you’re buying will help you make more money (your ship going faster) then it’s probably worth it.

Which brings me to the other quote. It’s something that I wish I’d heard years ago. A photographer my wife follows says that she always tries to buy the best gear because that way “You only cry once.”

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SCENE CONT'D

Bond picks up a small computer and gazes at it with trepidation. He pulls a silver credit card from his breast pocket.

STORE CLERK
A wise decision, sir.

JAMES BOND
I'd like to think so.
(Beat.)
You know what they say...

STORE CLERK
What's that, Mr. Bond?

JAMES BOND
Buy the best now...and
you only cry once.

CUT TO: OPENING CREDITS - THEME MUSIC PLAYS

Removing Barriers

A couple months ago I wrote about the fulfillment I was getting from virtual shows. Online shows meant I had removed all of the mundane tasks that usually came with doing a performance.

Since then I’ve been trying to find other ways to remove barriers from other parts of my life.

I got our piano tuned and redesigned the area around it. There’s nothing blocking my path to it now and nothing sitting on top of it. I just sit down, lift the cover, and play.

While my feet are healing I’ve turned to cycling. Living in a high-rise makes it a bit of a process: usually my bike is way back in the corner of the apartment, so I’ve been having to lift it over my desk, through a doorway, maneuver it around a corner, and out the door. So, we put a stand right next to the front door to make it easier. Now, it’s not such a hassle. I see it every day and get excited to use it.

Having to do so many virtual shows has forced me to keep my desk clear, which means I’ve been able to get more work done. I’ve been writing even more than usual, playing my keyboard at the desk, and even editing some long-forgotten video projects.

The point is that there will always be things that stand between where you are now and what you hope to be doing. Those barriers may be few or many, but they’ll always exist. The goal is to eliminate as many of them as possible so that the distance between you and that thing, whatever it may be, gets shorter and shorter. Eventually, you barely even notice the barriers. You’ll just think to yourself “I want to do X” and then BAM! you’re doing it.

When I do live shows I’m my own director, producer, head of marketing, box office manager, graphic designer, travel agent, scriptwriter, and more. Not to mention that I also have to perform the show! It gets to be pretty exhausting and as a result, I get burnt out and start to dread doing it. Even the show itself.

So, the last time we did a show I bit the bullet and hired some people to do the things I didn’t want to do. Yes, it was more money (more on that next week) but it was worth it in the long run. It freed me up to focus on what I’m best at: writing and performing.

I know this sounds obvious, but how often do you find yourself facing a series of annoying tasks that you have to do first just to be able to do something you enjoy? It happens to me all the time.

Doing virtual shows forced me to rethink many aspects of my life. One second I’m clicking the play button, the next I’m live on the internet doing a show. Nothing else stands in my way between what I was just doing and what I’m meant to be doing.

So, what else could I simplify in my life? Turns out, just about everything.

We used to have a studio across town. In the beginning it was exciting. We’d go there all the time just to get creative. But over time, it became a bit of a hassle to drive over, find parking, and drag our gear inside. Then, they closed down the surrounding area for construction and we started only going over for appointments.

So, we set out to find a new studio with easier access and fewer barriers to success. Our new location is perfect. It’s within walking distance, so there’s no excuse to be there as often as possible. It’s smaller, which makes it easier to keep our sights focused on one project at a time. And, it’s cheaper, so we’re less worried about the financial risk and pushing ourselves creatively and artistically in ways we weren’t able to before.

What else?

I pay a little more for my gym membership. Not because it’s nicer (it is) but because of proximity. No need to take the bus or train to workout. I only have to walk a clock from home and then I can get to work.

Part of my foot rehab is to stretch every day, so I’ve made a yoga area at home. The gear used to be stored in a closet out of reach, but not any more. Now it’s there when I need it and is easy to utilize at a moment’s notice.

I could go on and on. This isn’t some huge revelation but it is something that’s been helping me in my life and might help you, too.

Basically, my goal is to make doing whatever I want in life as easy as spending money online. A maximum of two clicks, one if it’s Amazon prime. You know how it goes… “Hmm do I really need a bright pink spatula with a UFO on it? Well, it’s only 10 bucks…” Before you know it, you’ve added it to your cart and clicked “FINISH ORDER”. Then, twelve hours later, the spatula arrives in a box five sizes too big.

That’s how easy it should be to do the things you want to do. Although, fair warning, sometimes doing the things you want in life take a little bit longer than one day delivery…but that’s okay. I don’t need stuff INSTANTLY…I’m willing to be patient, as long as it’s for the things I enjoy.

UPDATE: Six Months Without Social Media

It’s been six months since I deleted my social media accounts. Six months without constantly scrolling Twitter, without trying to build my Instagram following, and without constantly updating my Facebook page with upcoming show announcements.

After a month I finally started breaking the urge to check my phone every five minutes. Not having those apps on my phone or computer meant there was no need to constantly check my devices. Plus, eliminating those apps caused me to eliminate other apps that were wasting my time, too. Now my phone only has one main page of apps and I’m trying to whittle it down even more. I only use apps that are necessary for my business (banking, calendar, show tech, air travel, hotel), health (meal tracking, running tracker, gym membership), city use (parking, GPS, weather), productivity (to-do lists, reminders), and creativity (photo, video, podcasts, music).

No YouTube, no news apps, no e-mail, and no games. I’ve tried to make my phone as unappealing as possible. Deleting my social media was a gateway drug to eliminating even more distractions from my life and now I’M AN ADDICT! GIVE ME A HIT OF THAT PURE, UNINTERRUPTED FREE TIME BABY!!!!

That was my observation after one month. At that time I was curious about three other things:

1. Would anyone even notice I had left social media?
2. Would anyone try to talk me back onto it?
3. Would my business suffer?

The answer to number 1 is a resounding NO. No one cared. No one noticed I was gone and no one asked about it. The truth is, any friendships that mattered were real life, in-person relationships with my closest friends. Everything else online were shallow connections that were part of a total of “fans” or “followers”. They weren’t real friends and, as such, they didn’t know I went missing and I haven’t missed them either.

I’m still in touch with the people that matter and when we see each other we actually have things to talk about.

As for Number 2, there have been a few people tell me it’s a necessity for what I do. Management, agents, friends, even family have been somewhat insistent that social media is a requirement for success in my field. But, I’ve resisted their calls. If major celebrities can succeed without it, then surely I can, too. There have to be other ways to find success as an entertainer, right?

Which brings us to Number 3. Has my business suffered without social media?

NO! It hasn’t. If anything, it’s getting better because I have more time to focus on things that actually make my show and business better, without getting caught up in the constant need to create content for various online accounts. And, inquiries for my services have stayed the same which means people weren’t finding me through social media before and they definitely aren’t now.

There are a few annoying things. The media loves to quote twitter or instagram comments like it’s actual news. It’s ridiculous. And I’m blown away at how many times some of my friends say something like “Did you see such-and-such on facebook?” without realizing how weird it is to be so fully immersed in a world that only exists online.

After a few months, things got pretty normal without social media. I was using my phone differently. I was reading more and spending my time doing other things. I wasn’t thinking about other people’s instagram posts or worried about someone’s comment on my facebook feed. In fact, I wasn’t thinking about twitter, instagram, or facebook at all.

Then, just a couple weeks ago I realized something else interesting had happened to me. I was no longer feeling the impulse to share everything I saw. I mean, it had been happening for months but it was the first time I realized it. I wasn’t compelled to snap a photo of a sunset or the skyline for my followers any longer. I didn’t even want to take a photo at all. I was just experiencing things as they happened.

Without those impulses I’ve successfully been able to rewire my brain and return to life pre-social media. I was back to getting the most out of my day-to-day existence without the need for “likes” and “shares”.

When I see something interesting now I think of individual people that would enjoy it. It’s just so much better to think “Wow! Frank would really love that” and tell them about it, than needing to update my instagram story because I need to “stay current” or whatever.

When people find out I don’t have social media I’m usually met with the same response: “Oh, I’m so jealous! I wish I could do that.” Even so, they always have offer some pushback, too. Here’s a few concerns I’ve actually heard:

• “You don’t have social media? But, where do you get your memes?” (Kill me, now.)
• “Don’t you want to know what’s going on in the world?”
• “I can’t do that because my groups and clubs are on there…” (The list goes on and on.)

As Cal Newport writes in “Deep Work”, all of these concerns are very minor. They aren’t things that are contributing greatly to your life. If anything, these things are getting in the way of what (I suspect) you really wish you were doing.

Of all of those concerns the only one that really stands out is the need to be informed. Memes are a waste of time and your groups might feel important but are they really? Do you really think they’re making you better? Or, are they making you constantly compare yourself to other people or keeping your head filled with other people’s ideas? Just a thought…

Staying informed is important, especially in our current situation with the pandemic, protests, an election year, and the biggest race series of all-time. Without social media you can still be aware of what’s going on.

I read The New York Times (except for some of their awful op-eds), The Atlantic, and more. I listen to news podcasts and tune-in to limited news for major updates. And, I get neighborhood alerts when things like traffic shut-downs and protests are affecting my area. Yes, the information takes a little longer to get to me but that’s the idea. I don’t need to know things the moment they happen because that’s not a healthy way to live.

The interesting thing about everyone I’ve talked to is that it seems everyone hates their life on social media but they think it’s impossible to break away.

Up until now I’ve been telling people “I’m not telling you to delete social media, but it’s been really good for me” but I think I’m done with that. I want you to come over to the dark side with me.

QUIT SOCIAL MEDIA.

Do it. You’ll be so glad you did. You don’t need it like you think you do. And your life will be much better.

Do it because you’re reclaiming your time and using your hours for better things.

Do it because you care about your privacy.

Do it because social media companies are destroying democracy.

Do it because, deep down, you’ve been meaning to for a long time.

Now’s the time. Start today and you’re only six months behind me.

See you on the other side.

Preparation

Once I was doing a thing at a place for some people and we were asked to look over a script before we arrived. We weren’t supposed to memorize or rehearse it, just glance over it to see if there were any questions or changes to it.

So naturally, I gave it a once over the morning of my commitment to make sure I was familiar with everything. I read through it once to myself and once out loud to have a better idea of what we would be working on. It was literally the least I could do.

Upon arrival my contact began to review the script, noting the main points for me to be aware of. I nodded and said “Yes, I noticed that when I looked through it. Everything looks great.”

She looked up, aghast. “You know,” she continued, “I send scripts to people all the time and no one ever looks over these things. Thank you for being prepared.”

I always try to be prepared, no matter the purpose. I’ll take extra supplies, research the area, memorize the schedule, or study the materials beforehand. Whatever the project, I want to go above and beyond so people know they can rely on me and will trust me for future projects, too.

The thing is, most of the time my preparation doesn’t matter. A lot of time when I over-prepare no one even cares. They don’t notice that I spent extra hours doing my homework to make sure I was ready for them.

The more often that happens the more I want to stop preparing at all. Just when you think you should stop, someone finally notices that you took the time to do something that few people ever do. And when that lady thanked me for being ready, I learned at least two valuables lessons:

First, you should always over-prepare. If someone asks you to look over a script - print it out, highlight it, and read through it a few times. Bring the supplies they asked for, arrive early and stay late. Do the little things that matter, not because you need recognition, but because it feels good to be thorough and to exceed someone’s expectations - whether they notice or not.

Second, the people who do notice your attention to detail are the people you really want to be working for. All of those times preparing for people who took it for granted are practice for the people who will recognize your hard work. When they realize you sweat the details they’ll be grateful because they likely sweat the details, too.

The Roman philosopher Seneca is credited with saying “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” I think of that quote often, especially when my preparation goes unnoticed. It always reminds me to keep going above and beyond, whether it matters or not. Eventually your hard work is going to pay off and you’ll wind up creating your own luck.

Just a quick reminder this week to always over-prepare and over-deliver, regardless of the project. You may end up getting that big promotion, a raise, a repeat booking, or your dream role - you never know. But mainly, I want you to do the work like I do so I won’t have to wait for everyone to catch up at the start of every meeting I go to.

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Other Thoughts:

• I’m not really familiar with his work, but Bert Kreischer has found an awesome new way to go on tour this summer. Talk about embracing the moment.
• A few days ago, hundreds of people peacefully marched past my apartment in protest. Here was the view from above:

View fullsize

View fullsize

Mr. Frank

In high school my drama teacher introduced me to a person who would change my life. Since then this person has pushed me to be a better version of myself, they’ve forced me to be more creative, and they’ve never let me settle for mediocre when they knew I could do better.

Now, it’s your turn. Allow me to introduce you to…Mr. Frank.

Mr. Frank is always there when I need honest criticism. Mr. Frank doesn’t say things to make me feel better, he only speaks the truth. Mr. Frank tells it like it is.

“Hello, I’m Mr. Frank...Brutally Frank.”

When my drama teacher needed to give us feedback on an assignment he would say “Allow me to be Mr. Frank for a moment. First name Brutally…” Then he’d proceed to give (sometimes harsh) feedback to help us improve. But since it was Mr. Frank speaking we knew not to take it personally. Deep down we knew that Mr. Frank only wanted to help us.

Mr. Frank always has your best interests in mind. Sometimes what Mr. Frank says may hurt your feelings or piss you off, but Mr. Frank doesn’t care. Mr. Frank is just being honest.

Everyone needs a Mr. (or Mrs.) Frank in their life. It could be your wife or husband, your creative partner, your brother, your sister, your teacher, your mom or your dad. It just needs to be someone you trust to be honest when you need feedback. But you have to promise to never get offended when they speak the truth. We all need Mr. Frank’s feedback to help us get better but we have to be willing to listen, learn, and improve - all without getting angry or refusing to accept the help.

The thing is, it's really easy to find Mr. Frank. It’s much harder to learn to listen to him. Being willing to accept harsh criticism without taking it personally is a skill that you have to work at. You have to develop a thick skin and be willing to let Mr. Frank tell you all the things you’re doing wrong. But if you can get there - if you can be gracious and accepting of that feedback - then you’ll never miss out on Mr. Frank’s insights.

Just remember: Mr. Frank wants to help you. So when Mr. Frank speaks, shut up and listen. Don’t react or get defensive. Don’t allow yourself to become upset. Just listen quietly, accept the feedback, and say thank you. That’s how you will get better.

“Hello, I’m Mr. Frank. How can I help you?”

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Other Thoughts:

• Here’s some Quarantine Mind Reading for you:

How It's Meant To Be Seen

I’ve had many people ask me to get back on social meeting during the pandemic.

“You could do live streams or make Tik Toks or entertain on Instagram!”

I’ve felt the pull, too. I won’t lie to you. Everyone is isolated, lonely, anxious, and bored, so my entertainment could be an entertaining, albeit brief distraction from everything that’s going on. I totally get it.

To be honest with you, I’m enjoying my time at home. I’m not bored and I’m not lonely. I have plenty of things I can do to fill the time and I’m not going to go back on my word and rejoin social media just to promote myself during a pandemic.

I’m still doing shows (probably a dozen online programs for clients over the next four weeks), I’m still writing, and I’m still focused on what comes after this. But I would feel weird about being tone-deaf during this situation or to seem like I was forcing something.

Seeing articles like this really bum me out. I don’t want to be on my screen any more than I have to, pandemic or not. Some days it gets away from us and we watch a couple movies or something, but my favorite quarantine moments with my wife have been going on jogs, playing cards, reading, and working on any creative project I can think of.

One of the few things I’ve been watching are classic NBA games on YouTube. I was watching a game from the ‘90s and noticed something incredible: no one was on their phones because they hadn’t been invented yet. Every single fan was just invested in the game. There was no posting to show off where they were, no tweeting, no live-streaming. The fans were just hooping and hollering and having the time of their lives.

Discover & share this Nba GIF with everyone you know. GIPHY is how you search, share, discover, and create GIFs.

I was so jealous of those fans during that game. Everyone was completely in the moment. There’s no way going to a game now is as much fun as it was back then. When you have a phone in one hand and you can’t resist the impulse to check it every second, it’s impossible to fully appreciate everything that’s going on around you. (I completely understand why Dave Chappelle locks phones up at his shows.) 

I’m not convinced phones have made our lives better. And I definitely don’t think social media has. I care way too much about my privacy and mental health to re-join social media now in hopes of expanding my reach or entertaining others right now. (If you’re in need of some solid entertainment watch Ozark Season 3. I’m too much of an animal lover to recommend that other popular show.)

I’m happy to have virtual programs on the calendar and be able to support myself during these trying times. I’m not complaining about that. I will continue to embrace the moment and do what I can to create a positive experience for my clients. But I do miss that feeling of connecting with others during a live show. No matter how great your zoom meeting or facetime call becomes, it will never match the feeling of a personal, in-person connection.

One of the last things we did before the shelter-in-place order was issued for Illinois was to attend a showing of “2001: A Space Odyssey” at a nearby theater. It was part of a film festival and shown on 70mm. If you’ve never seen a movie on film then you’re really missing out. It’s magical!

Before the film, the festival director said something that I can’t stop thinking about. She said, “We’re so glad to have you here today because you shouldn’t be watching this movie on a small device or home viewing screen. You should be watching it like this - on film - because that’s how it was meant to be seen.”

I love that sentiment so much, and that’s how I feel about my virtual programs. I’m doing them out of necessity - like everything else I’ve always done to support us over the years. But, what I do deserves to be seen live.

It deserves an audience - off their phones - ready for a mind-blowing ride unlike anything else they’ve ever experienced. It shouldn’t just be another tab open in your browser that you can watch absentmindedly as you scroll Netflix for something to watch next. It should be like that NBA game where you know you’re part of something special but you have to wait until later to tell your friends because you’re too caught up in the moment to care about your text messages or how many likes you got on Instagram.

That's why you won't see me getting on social media over the next few weeks (months?). Instead, I’m going to be hard at work on my live show, waiting for the opportunity to perform again. And when we all get back to our normal lives - whatever that means - I can’t wait to have you in the audience so you can see my show how it’s meant to be seen.

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Other Thoughts:

• I started a new blog series earlier this week called “Mark My Words”. Check this blog every Monday for useful tips, tricks, reviews, tutorials, and more.

• If you’re also self-employed there are some options for getting financial relief during the pandemic. Start with the Small Business Administration and Artist Relief.

Embrace The Moment

Remember a few weeks ago in the before times? Back when you could shake hands with a stranger and find toilet paper any time you needed it?

Well, before the pandemic shut down life here in Chicago and the rest of the world, some of my colleagues were already telling me to move to “virtual shows”. In the beginning I was skeptical - I’m a live entertainer, a theater purist, a lover of the stage - I didn’t want to do shows over the Internet. I resisted the idea because the pandemic didn’t seem serious yet and because it just felt like a corporate money-making decision and not an artistic one. Besides, I didn’t have a clue what I’d perform in an online format anyway.

In mid-March, over my last weekend of "normal” shows, I mentioned the “virtual” format to my friend Jan. And she said, “Oh you have to do that! Be part of what’s going on.”

It was such a simple and thoughtful sentiment that it instantly changed my perspective. I realized that the virtual programs were a serious opportunity to entertain people and distract them from this crisis, if only for a brief moment. It was no longer a business decision - it was a human one. Taking my shows online meant I could connect with people in a time when connection is hard to come by.

Transforming my show into a virtual format has not been easy. First, I needed a good studio set-up, so my wife helped me create a backdrop at one end of my office. We added studio lighting, an HD camera, and professional audio to improve the look of the livestream, too. Then, I started working on material.

Everything in my stage show involves people onstage and in-person, so I had to throw it all out the window and start new. I combed through my library, consulted with some friends, and slowly built out the show. Before long I had nearly an hour of brand new material for “ The Virtual Mind Reading Show”.

What’s fun about this whole process is that I’ve been too busy working on everything that goes into the livestream to have any time for creative doubt or second thoughts. It reminds me of how I felt when I was living in Los Angeles right after I got out of college. I had no money and no connections, so I did everything that came my way - good, bad, and awful. But, I was happy because I was working hard and making the most of each opportunity.

That’s how I feel with the virtual shows, too. I can’t think “Oh, that’s not a good idea…” or “That will never work…” because there’s not enough time. I have shows on the schedule and people relying on me, so I just keep solving every problem that comes my way because there’s no other option.

I’m not bored or lonely during this period of self-isolation because I’m working on ways to use what I do to improve the lives of others.

Are you making the most of this time, too?

It’s easy to feel alone or bored or scared or worried right now. But, seeing how there isn’t really another choice, you should do all the things you’ve been meaning to do. Don’t question them, just dive in and get going.

Use this time wisely. Find new, meaningful ways to connect with others. Be part of what’s going on. Embrace the moment.

That’s what I’m doing and I feel so much better about things already.

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Other Thoughts:

• This situation makes me think of one of my favorite TED Talks.

• Starting next week I’m going to be moving to a twice-weekly posting schedule. Check back Monday for a new series on the blog!

• I’m using the rest of April to tackle some creative projects. I made a reading list, a watching list, and have some writing projects, too. I’d love to hear how you’re spending the time or some suggestions on how to spend mine. E-mail me back or let me know in the comments.