Removing Barriers

A couple months ago I wrote about the fulfillment I was getting from virtual shows. Online shows meant I had removed all of the mundane tasks that usually came with doing a performance.

Since then I’ve been trying to find other ways to remove barriers from other parts of my life.

I got our piano tuned and redesigned the area around it. There’s nothing blocking my path to it now and nothing sitting on top of it. I just sit down, lift the cover, and play.

While my feet are healing I’ve turned to cycling. Living in a high-rise makes it a bit of a process: usually my bike is way back in the corner of the apartment, so I’ve been having to lift it over my desk, through a doorway, maneuver it around a corner, and out the door. So, we put a stand right next to the front door to make it easier. Now, it’s not such a hassle. I see it every day and get excited to use it.

Having to do so many virtual shows has forced me to keep my desk clear, which means I’ve been able to get more work done. I’ve been writing even more than usual, playing my keyboard at the desk, and even editing some long-forgotten video projects.

The point is that there will always be things that stand between where you are now and what you hope to be doing. Those barriers may be few or many, but they’ll always exist. The goal is to eliminate as many of them as possible so that the distance between you and that thing, whatever it may be, gets shorter and shorter. Eventually, you barely even notice the barriers. You’ll just think to yourself “I want to do X” and then BAM! you’re doing it.

When I do live shows I’m my own director, producer, head of marketing, box office manager, graphic designer, travel agent, scriptwriter, and more. Not to mention that I also have to perform the show! It gets to be pretty exhausting and as a result, I get burnt out and start to dread doing it. Even the show itself.

So, the last time we did a show I bit the bullet and hired some people to do the things I didn’t want to do. Yes, it was more money (more on that next week) but it was worth it in the long run. It freed me up to focus on what I’m best at: writing and performing.

I know this sounds obvious, but how often do you find yourself facing a series of annoying tasks that you have to do first just to be able to do something you enjoy? It happens to me all the time.

Doing virtual shows forced me to rethink many aspects of my life. One second I’m clicking the play button, the next I’m live on the internet doing a show. Nothing else stands in my way between what I was just doing and what I’m meant to be doing.

So, what else could I simplify in my life? Turns out, just about everything.

We used to have a studio across town. In the beginning it was exciting. We’d go there all the time just to get creative. But over time, it became a bit of a hassle to drive over, find parking, and drag our gear inside. Then, they closed down the surrounding area for construction and we started only going over for appointments.

So, we set out to find a new studio with easier access and fewer barriers to success. Our new location is perfect. It’s within walking distance, so there’s no excuse to be there as often as possible. It’s smaller, which makes it easier to keep our sights focused on one project at a time. And, it’s cheaper, so we’re less worried about the financial risk and pushing ourselves creatively and artistically in ways we weren’t able to before.

What else?

I pay a little more for my gym membership. Not because it’s nicer (it is) but because of proximity. No need to take the bus or train to workout. I only have to walk a clock from home and then I can get to work.

Part of my foot rehab is to stretch every day, so I’ve made a yoga area at home. The gear used to be stored in a closet out of reach, but not any more. Now it’s there when I need it and is easy to utilize at a moment’s notice.

I could go on and on. This isn’t some huge revelation but it is something that’s been helping me in my life and might help you, too.

Basically, my goal is to make doing whatever I want in life as easy as spending money online. A maximum of two clicks, one if it’s Amazon prime. You know how it goes… “Hmm do I really need a bright pink spatula with a UFO on it? Well, it’s only 10 bucks…” Before you know it, you’ve added it to your cart and clicked “FINISH ORDER”. Then, twelve hours later, the spatula arrives in a box five sizes too big.

That’s how easy it should be to do the things you want to do. Although, fair warning, sometimes doing the things you want in life take a little bit longer than one day delivery…but that’s okay. I don’t need stuff INSTANTLY…I’m willing to be patient, as long as it’s for the things I enjoy.

UPDATE: Six Months Without Social Media

It’s been six months since I deleted my social media accounts. Six months without constantly scrolling Twitter, without trying to build my Instagram following, and without constantly updating my Facebook page with upcoming show announcements.

After a month I finally started breaking the urge to check my phone every five minutes. Not having those apps on my phone or computer meant there was no need to constantly check my devices. Plus, eliminating those apps caused me to eliminate other apps that were wasting my time, too. Now my phone only has one main page of apps and I’m trying to whittle it down even more. I only use apps that are necessary for my business (banking, calendar, show tech, air travel, hotel), health (meal tracking, running tracker, gym membership), city use (parking, GPS, weather), productivity (to-do lists, reminders), and creativity (photo, video, podcasts, music).

No YouTube, no news apps, no e-mail, and no games. I’ve tried to make my phone as unappealing as possible. Deleting my social media was a gateway drug to eliminating even more distractions from my life and now I’M AN ADDICT! GIVE ME A HIT OF THAT PURE, UNINTERRUPTED FREE TIME BABY!!!!

That was my observation after one month. At that time I was curious about three other things:

1. Would anyone even notice I had left social media?
2. Would anyone try to talk me back onto it?
3. Would my business suffer?

The answer to number 1 is a resounding NO. No one cared. No one noticed I was gone and no one asked about it. The truth is, any friendships that mattered were real life, in-person relationships with my closest friends. Everything else online were shallow connections that were part of a total of “fans” or “followers”. They weren’t real friends and, as such, they didn’t know I went missing and I haven’t missed them either.

I’m still in touch with the people that matter and when we see each other we actually have things to talk about.

As for Number 2, there have been a few people tell me it’s a necessity for what I do. Management, agents, friends, even family have been somewhat insistent that social media is a requirement for success in my field. But, I’ve resisted their calls. If major celebrities can succeed without it, then surely I can, too. There have to be other ways to find success as an entertainer, right?

Which brings us to Number 3. Has my business suffered without social media?

NO! It hasn’t. If anything, it’s getting better because I have more time to focus on things that actually make my show and business better, without getting caught up in the constant need to create content for various online accounts. And, inquiries for my services have stayed the same which means people weren’t finding me through social media before and they definitely aren’t now.

There are a few annoying things. The media loves to quote twitter or instagram comments like it’s actual news. It’s ridiculous. And I’m blown away at how many times some of my friends say something like “Did you see such-and-such on facebook?” without realizing how weird it is to be so fully immersed in a world that only exists online.

After a few months, things got pretty normal without social media. I was using my phone differently. I was reading more and spending my time doing other things. I wasn’t thinking about other people’s instagram posts or worried about someone’s comment on my facebook feed. In fact, I wasn’t thinking about twitter, instagram, or facebook at all.

Then, just a couple weeks ago I realized something else interesting had happened to me. I was no longer feeling the impulse to share everything I saw. I mean, it had been happening for months but it was the first time I realized it. I wasn’t compelled to snap a photo of a sunset or the skyline for my followers any longer. I didn’t even want to take a photo at all. I was just experiencing things as they happened.

Without those impulses I’ve successfully been able to rewire my brain and return to life pre-social media. I was back to getting the most out of my day-to-day existence without the need for “likes” and “shares”.

When I see something interesting now I think of individual people that would enjoy it. It’s just so much better to think “Wow! Frank would really love that” and tell them about it, than needing to update my instagram story because I need to “stay current” or whatever.

When people find out I don’t have social media I’m usually met with the same response: “Oh, I’m so jealous! I wish I could do that.” Even so, they always have offer some pushback, too. Here’s a few concerns I’ve actually heard:

• “You don’t have social media? But, where do you get your memes?” (Kill me, now.)
• “Don’t you want to know what’s going on in the world?”
• “I can’t do that because my groups and clubs are on there…” (The list goes on and on.)

As Cal Newport writes in “Deep Work”, all of these concerns are very minor. They aren’t things that are contributing greatly to your life. If anything, these things are getting in the way of what (I suspect) you really wish you were doing.

Of all of those concerns the only one that really stands out is the need to be informed. Memes are a waste of time and your groups might feel important but are they really? Do you really think they’re making you better? Or, are they making you constantly compare yourself to other people or keeping your head filled with other people’s ideas? Just a thought…

Staying informed is important, especially in our current situation with the pandemic, protests, an election year, and the biggest race series of all-time. Without social media you can still be aware of what’s going on.

I read The New York Times (except for some of their awful op-eds), The Atlantic, and more. I listen to news podcasts and tune-in to limited news for major updates. And, I get neighborhood alerts when things like traffic shut-downs and protests are affecting my area. Yes, the information takes a little longer to get to me but that’s the idea. I don’t need to know things the moment they happen because that’s not a healthy way to live.

The interesting thing about everyone I’ve talked to is that it seems everyone hates their life on social media but they think it’s impossible to break away.

Up until now I’ve been telling people “I’m not telling you to delete social media, but it’s been really good for me” but I think I’m done with that. I want you to come over to the dark side with me.

QUIT SOCIAL MEDIA.

Do it. You’ll be so glad you did. You don’t need it like you think you do. And your life will be much better.

Do it because you’re reclaiming your time and using your hours for better things.

Do it because you care about your privacy.

Do it because social media companies are destroying democracy.

Do it because, deep down, you’ve been meaning to for a long time.

Now’s the time. Start today and you’re only six months behind me.

See you on the other side.

"Deep Work" by Cal Newport | My Favorite Books #2

There came a point a few years ago when I realized I had lost the ability to fully focus on anything I was doing. I couldn’t finish a news article, I’d get distracted while writing, I couldn’t go two minutes at the gym without checking my phone. I was always the sort of person who could fully concentrate on an idea or a project until it was finished. So what had changed?

Well, quite a lot.

For one, I was addicted to my phone. I’d grown accustomed to always being connect no matter where I was. I’d scroll twitter in the elevator, text in line at airport security, and watch youtube videos to fall asleep.

Plus, I was caught up in the constant need to be as productive as possible. My inbox became my biggest nemesis. I’d check emails all hours of the day and respond as quickly as possible.

Not to mention: social media, the constant distractions of being self-employed, television, and more.

I had a problem.

So, I fixed it. I read “Deep Work” by Cal Newport.

If you’re in the same state I was in, then this book just might be life-changing for you, too.

Newport coined the phrase “deep work” and defines it as follows:

“Activities performed in a state of distraction-free concentration that push your cognitive capabilities to their limits.”

He favors deep work - intensive, thoughtful tasks that are difficult but worthwhile - such as writing difficult papers, books, skilled trades, and more, over shallow work, such as checking e-mail and scrolling social media. Reading his approach to his own work really shifted my own focus back onto mine.

Here were a few of my takeaways:

1. Don’t spend as much time on social media. (I took this to heart and deleted all of mine at the end of 2019. More on that later this week.)
2. Set your work hours and stick to it. Newport shows how he was able to maximize his productivity with deep work, while sticking to a strict work schedule which allowed him to still have time for other projects and his family.
3. Recognize the shallow work in your life and work to avoid it. A main part of this was social media (see #1 above) but there were other aspects in my life, including watching mindless TV, checking my email too often, or even agreeing to commitments I didn’t want to be a part of. I eliminated distractions on my phone, starting saying “No” to things I didn’t want to do, and prioritized my time for the things that I wanted to be doing.

When I read a book or article I really enjoy I always make the attempt to reach out to the author and let them know. However, Cal Newport is really hard to get a hold of. He doesn’t publicize his e-mail and he doesn’t use social media. If you try to write him through his website chances are he won’t respond, and he likes it that way. I admire that - he has sought out seclusion for the sole purpose of pure, uninterrupted creativity and focus. Sounds like an incredible way to live, don’t you agree?

I have a long way to go on my “Deep Work” journey but it’s made a huge difference in the work I do and how satisfied I am with my efforts. I’m hoping to continue on this path to learn even quicker and produce at an even higher level.

If you’re anything like me, I’m guessing if you force yourself to recognize how you’re spending your time you’ll wish you’d read “Deep Work” a lot sooner and put it into practice. I know I do.

As Cal Newport says, “Clarity about what matters provides clarity about what does not.”

Drops In A Bucket

Most of the self-improvement advice I read goes something like this:

“If you want to be good at XXX you have to do XXX every single day.”

(Call it the Seinfeld Srategy or The X Effect or whatever you want, but I’m certain you’ve probably heard it before, too.)

Obviously, that makes a lot of sense. But it’s not an all or nothing proposition. I’ve read about many people working on a goal who became discouraged after they missed a day in the chain. They end up treating that missed day as a failure and falling off the wagon entirely. I’ve been there myself.

For me, it’s running. I try to lift weights and eat well but my big commitment has been to run as often as possible. Since my travel schedule is so unpredictable running has become my best option for exercising when on the road.

Before my trips I try to plan out my travel accordingly: Does the hotel have a gym? (I can use a treadmill in case the weather is unbearable.) Is there a running path nearby? What does my weekly mileage look like and will I have enough time for those runs?

That’s how I’ve approached my travel for years. I land in any given city already thinking about my run. As soon as I get to the hotel I change, stretch, and I’m out the door. Making my runs a priority always makes me feel happy and healthy and ready to give a good performance later that evening.

I’ve run over the Brooklyn Bridge and next to Niagara Falls. I’ve run down the Las Vegas Strip and along the Pacific Ocean. I’ve run trails in Pittsburgh and beaches in Florida, mountains in California and roads in the heartland.

Sometimes I have to run on a treadmill. Sometimes I have to run slower when I’m tired or shorter distances when I don’t have much time to spare. Sometimes my iPod isn’t charged and I run to the sound of my own thoughts. Sometimes I run on a track and sometimes I run around the parking lot of my hotel just to be outside.

It doesn’t matter. I don't understand when someone says their run was “boring” or the treadmill is “horrible”. What a gift it is to be able to move; to have two working legs that bound effortlessly through each stride, pushing against the ground and carrying me forward to each glorious mile. For me, running is a celebration of life. It’s self-expression that lets me say “I’m alive and I get to run.”

When I’m tired from an early flight or several long days of travel in a row, I try to remind myself that I get to run. I repeat the mantra in my head if my morning is particularly challenging.

I get to run.

I wake up as my flight lands and grab my bag from the overhead compartment, sleepily muttering to myself, I get to run.

When I retrieve my luggage at baggage claim I’m thinking about how lucky I am that I get to run.

I turn the key in my rental car, sipping my third cup of coffee. I get to run.

I check into my hotel, change into running clothes, stretch, smile, and head out the door. Finally, I get to run.

I’ve been on a hot streak all year long. I haven’t missed a workout and haven’t missed a mile. I’ve run 5Ks, 10Ks, 10 milers, and even a Half Marathon. Plus, I’ve worked on my speed, hills, and more. I even prioritized stretching when my mileage increased - something that has been a challenge for me in the past. So you can imagine my utter disappointment two and a half weeks ago when I fell down the stairs and dislocated my shoulder.

One of my first thoughts was "Fuck, what about running? I won’t be able to run.”

After the initial shock and pain subsided and I returned home from the ER, I was slightly depressed for a few days. I couldn’t move much and had to stare at the other runners in Chicago from my apartment window. At my doctor’s recommendation I had to skip a race I’d been building up to for 8 weeks.

My streak was broken. I was crushed.

A few days passed and I got my head on straight. I kept up with my physical therapy exercises and started biking at home. Then last week my therapist said I was doing so well that I could go out for a run last weekend. I did - and it was incredible.

I bundled up - it’s already getting brutally cold here in Chicago - and hit one of my favorite loops. I avoided the steps I’ve tripped over before and the curb that caused an ankle sprain last year. I felt sluggish and uncomfortable. I couldn’t help but to constantly think about my shoulder and worry that any given step might dislodge it and send me back to the hospital.

But after a half mile I stopped worrying and my old self took over. I get to run.

Each uncomfortable, plodding step was a reminder that I was back outside, doing my favorite thing. Each bead of sweat fell in slow motion as I ran along the beautiful shore of Lake Michigan. I felt my feet contact the ground and made a point to remember that feeling. One day I won’t get to feel that any more, but now - now I get to feel it, weeks before I thought I’d get to feel that again. And what a glorious feeling!

I’ve run two more times since then and am starting to feel like my old self. There’s a gaping two week hole in my calendar but I don’t care. There are plenty of gaps along the way but I keep lacing up my shoes and hitting the path. Each time I do, I end a string of empty days and start a new streak. And I have way more successful streaks than empty ones.

The truth is the unbroken chain is a noble but ultimately unlikely result. Things happen. Life gets in the way. Mistakes are made. Every once in a while you’re going to forget to do your daily push-ups or be too busy to write your daily word goal. It’s bound to happen sooner or later.

I try to approach it differently. I think of successful days as “Drops In A Bucket”. For every day I accomplish my goal, the bucket gets a little more full. Over time I may miss days or possibly even weeks, but hopefully I’m able to use a majority of my days to keep adding those drops. And when I look back my metaphorical bucket is way more full than when I began.

I love looking back on my year and seeing that I ran 265 out of 365 days or realizing that I accomplished my writing goal on more days than I forgot to write. Those are huge wins. My running and writing buckets are getting full to the brim.

Most advice I read is like those "One Size Fits Most” hats you see in stores. They don’t work for me. I’m a little taller and bigger than the average person and, as much as I wish they were, it inevitably doesn’t work for me.

It’s important to remember that what works for others more than likely might not work the same way for you. So know that when you see that viral TED Talk on productivity or hear about the work habits of insanely successful people, you have to take it with a grain of salt.

Seinfeld was getting paid really well to write every single day. Olympians get to run every day because it’s their job. For the rest of us, we have to make our goals work with our schedules and be content with our individual results. You may wish you were working harder or had more time but always remember that it’s a gift just to be filling our buckets up at all.

---

Other Thoughts:

• I saw “The Irishman” the other night. It was extraordinary but at three-and-a-half hours(!) long I can’t help but wonder if Scorsese’s idea of what cinema should be isn’t suitable for today’s audiences. No one around us had the attention span to make it more than 20 minutes without checking their phones, talking, or going to the restroom. It’s a real shame because the movie was phenomenal.

• Currently Reading: “Digital Minimalism” by Cal Newport

• It has already snowed twice in Chicago! I’m not ready for this…

• Check out this week’s video and be sure to Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: