The Mystery of the 7th Book

When people ask me how I got into this I always say the same thing.

“I learned everything from books!"

It’s true. I grew up in a small town. There were no other performers I could learn from or videos I could watch (these were the pre-internet days) so I spent most of my time at the public library reading every magic book I could.

Back then if you wanted to find me between school getting out at 3pm and catching a ride home with my dad two hours later, you only needed to look back in the corner of the library at the legendary position of 793.8 in the Dewey Decimal System. Those were the call numbers for the magic books - all seven of them.

I learned everything I could from those books. I’d check one out and read it cover to cover. Then, I’d swap it for the next one and so on. Those seven books were all I had and I must have read them dozens of times throughout my childhood.

Over the years I’ve been trying to track down those seven books to add to my collection. Some were harder to find than others. I found one at a used book store in the Chicago suburbs and another one in a garage sale. A friend gifted me the Houdini book I was looking for and I tracked a few of the others down at conventions.

But there was always one book I couldn't find. It was a book by The Amazing Kreskin, one of my first introductions to the fine art of reading people’s minds. For some reason, I’d never come across the book in my travels.

That is, until recently. I was between shows in Maine when I wandered into a used book store. I walked up to the counter with my usual query.

“Do you have any magic books?”

The lady behind the counter barely looked up, gesturing to the back of the store with a wave of her hand.

I walked down the aisle and spotted a small section of books on the bottom shelf. As I knelt down for a better look I noticed a book had fallen onto the floor behind the shelf. I reached between the other books, lifted it out, and there it was: the seventh book!

My collection was complete. After years of casually assembling my collection, I finally had my hands on the full set of books that set me down the path toward my eventual career. Those books had defined my life since I was in kindergarten. Especially the Kreskin one.

I absentmindedly flipped through the book and noticed an inscription in the front. The book was signed to someone else.

I’m not sure who that other person was or where he got it signed. I’m not sure what journey the book took to wind up in my hands in Portland, ME after all those years. But I like to think that in some mysterious way we were on a collision course and it was only a matter of time before I found it.

Why do I say that, you ask? Because Kreskin had autographed it for another person - ANOTHER PERSON NAMED MARK. But now, I like to think he signed it for me.

No Other Option

I’ve had an idea in my notebook for ten years. It’s a piece for my show that I’ve always wanted to try. It’s everything I like to do onstage: mind blowing, entertaining, funny, and fun to do.

The only problem? I’ve never actually done it during a show until a few days ago. Just this week I finally did it and IT KILLED. It was as good as I knew it would be.

What the hell took me so long?

I guess every time I went to try it I would talk myself out of it. I’d tell myself it wasn’t ready yet and that it needed more rehearsal. I’d fall back on my go-to material instead of just taking the plunge and going for it. I just kept putting it off.

When I was younger I taught myself to juggle by standing over a bed. The idea was simple: when I dropped a tennis ball I didn’t have to chase it across the room. I could just pick it up off the bed and keep trying. Progress was slow. So, I started juggling at the top of the stairs. Chasing my drops became a chore so my drops were fewer. I got better because there was no other option.

When I went to theater school my parents told me I should double major in business, too. “You’ll want to have a fall back plan,” they told me, just in case things didn’t work out. But I refused. I knew if there was a fall back plan then I would fall back on it. When I left school there was no other option except to do entertainment . . . so that’s exactly what I’ve been doing ever since.

That's the same kind of mentality I needed this week to actually bring that new piece onstage with me. I waited ten years to do it because I always had a fall back plan. It kept me from taking the risk and pushing myself to do more and be better.

This week I removed the safety net. I only packed my bag with enough props to execute the new piece and nothing more. There was no other option but to finally give it a shot. It was the final push I needed to succeed and (as is always the case when you step out of your comfort zone) I’m so glad I did.

So what's that thing you’ve been meaning to do? What’s that idea in your notebook that you’ve been putting off for a decade?

The time has come for you to get rid of the back up plan. Remove the safety net. Stand at the top of the stairs and get the balls in the air.

Look at that! You're juggling!

Moving On and Getting Older

I turned 33 this week.

33 is my favorite number, so this is destined to be a good year. (It was my basketball jersey number when I was younger…I was a big fan of Larry Bird.)

I spent my birthday doing a show in Tennessee. I woke up at 3am to catch a flight, drove through the mountains to get to Chattanooga and worked from 4pm-1am. It was a pretty typical work day and that’s okay. Some of my favorite birthdays as an adult have just been typical days performing or being at home.

Every time I see an “it’s my birthday” blog post online it seems that people list out all of their huge career accomplishments from the previous year and goals for the year ahead. I’m sure I’ve been guilty of that before myself…but I’m approaching this year differently.

This past year I’ve made some big changes in my life. I stopped using my phone as much, limited my social media use, and prioritized myself. I’ve been doing more of what I enjoy - running, writing, reading, filmmaking - and it’s really improved my daily outlook.

Instead of worrying about my professional goals for the year ahead I’m going to keep putting myself first. Sure, I still have big ambitions for my show and career, but those are mostly out of my control. I need to be content with where I end up, whether I fully achieve those goals or not.

My personal goals are another story. So, while I’m 33 I plan on focusing on me, including the following:

That’s a lot of hardware!

• HEALTH: This year I’ve lost 25 pounds just by committing to healthy eating and going to the gym. I’m lucky to be tall and carry my weight well, so you probably couldn’t even tell I’d gotten a little overweight. But I was.

  After I fractured my ankle and broke a toe in the same week last summer I was unable to do any physical activity. So, I hibernated last winter and ate whatever I wanted. But, once the sun came out in the spring I got my head on straight and went back to running. I set my sights on a half marathon and spent all summer training. I ran a myriad of races - 5Ks, 10Ks, 10 milers - to keep myself motivated. I haven’t missed a run all year. And last Sunday I finished my first half marathon - 5 minutes under my goal pace. I was PUMPED.

  Over the next year I plan on logging more miles and running even more races. I want to run a couple more half marathons next year and maybe even attempt a triathlon. I’m fortunate that I recovered from my injuries and feel stronger than ever. And now I plan on getting in the best shape of my life.

• CREATIVITY: I want to write a book. And a screenplay. And a TV series and a stage play and a children’s story. I want to make short films and start a podcast. I want to give stand-up comedy a shot. Anytime I think up an idea I want to turn it into a reality.

  I’m working on transforming my home office into a creative paradise. I’m removing distractions like the Internet, social media, Netflix, my phone, television, etc. from the space and only having creative tools within arm’s reach. There’s a computer for editing video, my typewriter for writing, microphones for podcast, my books for research, and my props for rehearsal. I have everything I need.

  The final step is to focus on what matters most. I’m going to have to say “NO” to friends and family that want my time. I’m going to turn down work that I don’t want to do so I can focus on the work I want to be doing. I want to reengineer my life so I can do as much “deep work” as possible.

• LEARNING: I’ve spent so much time the past decade searching for work and traveling to gigs that for a while I stopped learning new things. I was too exhausted to read or study, so I’d binge a Netflix show instead or scroll Twitter instead. Enough is enough.

  Now that I’m a little more established, I can actually step away from work sometimes and do other things. And this year, I’ve been trying to educate myself more. I’ve been working on video editing, studying the courses on Masterclass, and reading like crazy. There’s nothing better.

  My goal for the next year is to learn more. I used to be able to juggle 5 balls but I can’t any more. So I’m going to teach myself all over again. I’m working on some new video projects so I can practice my FCPX skills. I’ve been getting better at chess and think I might join the club here in the city. And, of course, I plan on reading even more.

  Next year I hope to read 66 books. That’s 33 non-fiction and 33 fiction. I have a list of some must-reads already, but I’d love your recommendations. Comment below or drop me a line here.

• TRAVEL: My final endeavor while I’m 33 is to see more of the world. I went to a ton of amazing places last year but they were all for work. This year I want to do more personal trips. Either I’ll extend work trips into a personal visit or I’ll take a few days off every few months so I can see new places.

  I want to take three main trips, which I just randomly chose right now. A road trip around Lake Michigan, Sequioa National Park, and somewhere in the Caribbean. I want them all to be getaways so I have some time away from work to read, unplug, and relax. (Stephanie, if you’re reading this…you’re invited, too.)

So that’s it. Those are my hopes for the next twelve months. For now, I’m happy to be alive, healthy, and inspired.

It’s going to be a good year.

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Other Thoughts:

• Here’s a fun video from a recent show in Chicago:

• Are you subscribed to my YouTube Channel?

• I’ve really been enjoying this book lately. And, I plan on making the strategies in it part of my every day life.

Playing With Fire

Recently I shared a video of a hilarious moment from one of my recent shows. I spent a few minutes roasting a guy in the audience. If you pay attention to that clip you’ll see that of everyone in attendance, he was the one laughing the hardest.

As a performer you have to be aware of your surroundings. You need to be able to read the room and know what kind of environment you’re in. When you’re aware of the situation you can start pushing boundaries and taking chances. But it all depends on where you’re working.

The jokes I make at a corporate event are different from a college show. And both of those rooms are way different from the comedy clubs I work when I’m home in Chicago, which is where that clip was filmed.

That video is one of my favorite moments this year. It’s everything that I want my show to be: memorable, hilarious, fun, and totally unique to that particular audience.

Every time I do a show I’m looking for those moments. If someone does something stupid, I’m going to call them out on it. If someone says something funny, I’m going to make it funnier. And if I do something dumb, then I’m going to roast myself. (Case in point: ten years ago I ripped my pants during a show. I proceeded to ridicule myself for ten minutes. The audience loved it.)

As I was making that joke I was watching that dude and making sure he was cool with it. I was also watching his friends and listening to the rest of the room. They were all laughing. If you listen close you can even hear his friend say “This is my favorite!” Those signs were all I needed to know that I was in the clear and we could all have fun together.

Yet, some people reached out to me to tell me I was demeaning to the audience. (Someone offended and outraged in 2019? No way!) They felt I was being rude or alienating the crowd. They seemed to believe that I should perform passively and never push the envelope or have any opinions onstage.

I once heard a performer say that they didn’t do any political jokes because they “don’t want to alienate half of the audience”. Fair point. But, I feel differently about it.

I don’t want to go onstage and only say things that everyone will agree with. I don’t want to play it safe so everyone will like me. I want to go out there, say what I think, and not be scared what you think about it.

I want to play with fire.

Last weekend at my show I made a joke about “impeachment”. I had a couple Trump voters in the audience who started booing.

After the show one of those guys got in my face and said, “Leave the politics out of it!” (Hmmm, triggered much?) I laughed.

If they had been able to take a joke and not been so sensitive, they would have heard the second part of that bit where I ridicule myself and the whole “resistance” movement. But, they were too quick to boo so I had to double down.

We’re living in really strange times. There’s no nuance any more. Everything is hyper partisan and divisive. It’s exhausting.

I feel it in my audiences. I sense it in performers I share the stage with. It seeps through in everyday conversations, everything I read, and everything I watch. As my wife would say, “Everyone is too woke to joke.”

Here’s the thing: if you don’t like something, then maybe it just isn’t for you. Maybe you aren’t the intended audience. Maybe instead of complaining about it or posting bad reviews you can just go find the things that are intended for you.

If you don’t like a sandwich then don’t tweet about it, just go find a different deli.

If you didn’t like a movie you don’t have to berate the people who spent months working on it from the safety of your blog. Just find a different film to enjoy.

And if you can’t take a joke, then don’t go to a comedy club.

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Other Thoughts:

• I started a new series on YouTube called “STAGE TIME”. I’m sharing fun clips from my shows there now, so be sure to subscribe.

• I was just on the Eager To Know Podcast. Check out my episode here.

• Get tickets to upcoming shows.

• I was talking to someone about a movie I saw recently and they said “Everyone online said the ending sucks so I don’t know if I’ll see it or not…” What a shame our opinions and ideas are so easily formed by stuff we see online. Maybe don’t read other people’s thoughts on a thing and decide for yourself? Recommendation: I just saw “The Peanut Butter Falcon” (not the movie I referenced above) and it was great. Don’t read a review or check Rotten Tomatoes, just go see it for yourself and enjoy.

The Worst Bomb Of My Career

It was one of the worst shows of my career.

It just happened. Just within the past few weeks.

I bombed onstage so hard that you might have thought I’d never done this before. It was ROUGH.

I should have known that it was going to be a disaster from the moment I arrived at the venue. The sound system was broken, so there would be no microphone. The room originally planned for the show had a double booking, so my act was moved elsewhere. The organizers of the event seemed busy and distracted. All signs pointed to a horrible outcome.

The new room was full of distractions. Smoothies being made loudly opposite my performance area, multiple people coming in and out of the room, and large windows behind me with no blinds to shield the sun pouring in from outside.

But, the show must go on. So with no mic and no other choice, I started the show.

Fifteen minutes in and everything was going off the rails. No one was paying attention. People couldn’t hear me or they had an obstructed view. Try as I might, my theatrically trained voice just wasn’t loud enough to command the attention I so desperately needed. I was dying a slow and painful death in front of a room of strangers and still had 45 minutes to go.

I went through my set list in my mind, quietly crossing pieces out that just wouldn’t work in this scenario. “Nope, can’t do that one. Or that one. That won’t work. Oh man, this isn’t good…” I thought to myself, as I realized that I was very nearly out of options.

I looked up at the room. A handful of people were scattered around the area, none of them paying me any mind. And I thought to myself: “Wow, I’m bombing.”

Suddenly, everything changed. The second I thought those words to myself: “Wow, I’m bombing” I knew that it was all okay.

Ask any professional entertainer and they’ll tell you they’ve bombed dozens (maybe hundreds) of times. It happens to the best of us. You don’t want it to happen, but it’s inevitable. It’s going to happen eventually and forcing myself to acknowledge it made me realize that everything was going to be all right.

In that moment, I decided to lean into it and “take the L”. I didn’t have another option, so I figured I would just make the most of it. So I started heckling myself…

“Well, this is going about as well as I thought it would!” I shouted into the void, hoping one of the 12 people in the room might respond. One guy snickered from the back, so I called out to him.

“This is the only guy laughing at my jokes…what’s your name, sir?”

“I’m Mike, but shouldn’t you know that since I’m your agent?” he joked.

Without missing a beat, I responded, “Mike, you need to get me some better gigs.”

Two other students laughed from the other corner. One of them yelled out, “Tough crowd!”

“Tough crowd?” I yelled back, “I don’t see a crowd anywhere.”

In that moment, I started to feel in control of the situation. I was still bombing, it was still embarrassing and painful to go through, but I was owning it. I was so aware of the moment that I was able to laugh at my predicament and not let it bother me.

“I’m glad to see my agent agreed to my demands to be here today. I said the only way I would do a show here was if it was in the middle of the day, on a Monday, with no microphone, and that at least 80% of the students had to be facing away from me and on their laptops.”

I almost lost my voice yelling that joke, but it was worth it. Over half the room looked up and laughed in unison. They could see that I was aware of what was happening and we were all in on the joke together.

I made a few more jokes, improvised some different material to finish my hour, then called it a day. I turned to pack up my gear and couldn’t stop laughing. I had bombed but I was still alive. I felt invincible.

As I turned back to grab some props, a student asked to take a picture. I agreed. Then I noticed a small line had formed. People wanted a photo or a poster or had a question for me. All things considered, they had actually enjoyed the show and wanted to let me know. Somehow, I had made a positive out of a negative.

If that show had happened ten years ago I would have spiraled into a deep depression for weeks, regretting my life choices and questioning my abilities as an entertainer. I wouldn’t have been able to laugh it off or find any positive things about it. It might have ended my career.

But now, one decade and hundreds of shows later, I’m glad it happened. I’m glad I bombed gracefully and it didn’t keep me up at night. In fact, once I drove away from that show I wasn’t even thinking about it. It was just another gig on the road to my final destination.

Twenty-four hours later, I was back in Chicago waiting to go onstage. I wasn’t thinking about bombing the day before or questioning my life choices. I was just there, lost in the moment, concentrating on my script and hoping to really connect with that night’s audience.

It was one of the best shows of my career.

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Other Thoughts:

• I love this story of the worst time Bill Burr ever bombed. I couldn’t help but think of it as I was going through it myself.

• Starting tonight you can catch me at the Chicago Magic Lounge all weekend! Get your tickets here.

• I’m thinking about starting a podcast. More info on that soon!

• I spent two miles on my run last weekend wondering how mirrors are made. If you can make it through this stupid video intro, it’s actually pretty interesting.

• Here’s a clip from a recent show at The Second City in Chicago. Check it out:

Magic Words That Really Work

As a performer I use certain words and phrases to get people to cooperate and make me look good onstage. When used correctly these words work wonders.

The best part? You can use most of these special phrases in your everyday life to be a better conversationalist, remember people’s names, and put people at ease.

They may not be as cool as “wingardium leviosa” but these are real-life magic words that really work.

"Good To See You": Use this phrase every time you greet someone. If it’s the first time you’ve met them they’ll think you’re just being nice. Or, if you’ve met them before they’ll be convinced you remember them…even if you completely forgot! 

"Remind Me Of Your Name": This is my go-to phrase anytime I forget someone’s name. By asking someone to remind you they’ll wonder if they weren’t memorable enough the first time you were introduced, or maybe they just never told you their name in the first place! You’re subtlety placing the blame on them, without making them feel bad. Sneaky, huh?

"Yes, and…": I was having a conversation recently and the other person said “Not only that but…” in response to a point I made. Even though they were being positive about what I had told them, I couldn’t stop thinking about the negative words they had used like “not” and “but”. Instead, try saying “Yes, and…” to build on someone’s thoughts in a positive manner. It will make them feel good about their ideas and they’ll be more likely to agree with you, too. (Plus, if you ever move to Chicago you’ll fit right in.)

"Tell Me More": When you’re having a conversation, pay attention for the best moment to ask the other person to “tell you more”. By doing so, you’re searching for the conversation they want to be having. You really have to pay attention to use this phrase, which means you’ll get bonus points for actually being a great listener. When used correctly, “tell me more” will lead to some of the most fascinating conversations you’ve ever had.

"No Worse Than Me": Sometimes I need to have volunteers help with a strange task during the show, such as shuffling cards or drawing a picture. Usually people are a little hesitant, saying something like “Oh, I’m a terrible artist!” or something similar. I quickly say “Don’t worry, you’re no worse than me!” to put them at ease. For a split second, it makes us equals and takes the pressure off. I’ve just started using this one in the past month but it really works!

So there you go…some new magic words to go along with “please” and “thank you”. Try them out and let me know if they work for you!

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Other Thoughts:

• I’m headlining at the Chicago Magic Lounge next weekend, September 19-22. Get tickets here.

• Never miss a post! Click the button above or go here to Join The Mystery!

• Within the past week I had one of the worst shows of my life and one of the best in the same 24 hour span. I’ll write about it in greater detail for a future Thursday Thoughts post, but it just goes to show that there are always new things to learn, you can always get better, and nothing is ever that big of a deal.

My New Typewriter

I learned to type at my dad’s office.

His secretaries had electric typewriters that I would poke around on after hours. I’d watch in fascination as the silver ball quickly spun around to the correct letters, numbers, and symbols before revealing them on the page. I always loved the click-clack of the keys and the sound of the bell when you reached the end of the line.

The office was lined with barrister bookshelves full of leather bound books. Often, I’d have an extra hour to kill before my dad would be able to give me a ride home. So I’d walk the hall admiring the bookshelves before taking a seat behind a typewriter to pass the time.

When my father passed away my siblings and I each got to keep one of the bookshelves. It’s one of my favorite possessions and I can’t help but think of those glorious afternoons exploring the office and typing away for hours on end.

Recently I’ve been on a mission to add mystery back into my life. I figured that if I’m trying to encourage my audiences to enjoy mystery then I should probably do the same in my everyday life.

Part of that push has been to live a more “analog” life. I’ve been limiting my screen time, staying away from social media, and taking a more “old school” approach to my daily routine. It was only a matter of time before I bought my own typewriter.

I’ve always been a fan of the mid-century modern aesthetic, so I went with an Olivetti Lettera 32. Isn’t it beautiful?

I love this machine. It’s in perfect shape, has a perfect fit to my hands, and it’s totally my style. Just seeing it each day makes me want to sit down and get to work.

Also, it’s a manual typewriter, so there’s no need to charge it or upgrade it to the next operating system. It just sits on my desk waiting for me to create something.

Speaking of my desk… I had remembered that my dad’s typewriters had been resting on these large metal desks. They were huge and solid and built to last. So naturally I wanted one of those.

After doing a bit of research I discovered that those desks are known as “steel tanker desks”. I started searching everywhere for a desk that would go well with my Olivetti Lettera 32. I went dozens of pages deep on Craigslist, eBay, and more, but I couldn’t find the model I had in mind.

One day Stephanie and I went out to browse antique stores. I didn’t expect to find the desk I was wanting but I was keeping an eye out anyway. And at our tenth store, in a beautiful moment of serendipity, Stephanie found it sitting just inside the door. Plus, it was on sale. They were practically giving it away.

We cleared out the seats, wheeled it to the back alley, and loaded a massive, solid steel desk into the car. Surprisingly it wasn’t too difficult to transport it across the city and upstairs to our apartment. And suddenly, everything came together.

The desk matched the typewriter, which together matched my lamp, chair, and wall art. Everything was perfect.

I glanced down at the desk to see a seal from the desk’s manufacturer: Globe-Wernicke.

“I wonder where this desk has been…” I thought to myself.

So I went in search of some information I could find on steel tanker desks made by Globe-Wernicke. Eventually I arrived at this article.

It turns out that Globe-Wernicke is best known for patenting the “barrister bookcase” - the very bookcase that lined the halls of my dad’s office. The very bookcase that sat nearby while I was learning to type. The very bookcase my father left me after he passed away.

I love when everything comes full circle in life. I love when things connect in magical, mysterious ways that you couldn’t possibly anticipate.

Life can be really wonderful sometimes.

And that’s the story of my new typewriter, my new desk, and what goes through my mind when I sit down to write each and every day.

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Other Thoughts:

• Check out some backstage mind reading from Liberty Magic:

• I was a guest on The Lisa Show on Sirius XM Radio last week. Listen here!

• Also, check out this interview I did with the Pittsburgh Current.

Mentors

I received a few messages after last week’s post from people saying “Who was that guy? I need to know!” (If you were thinking that, then you kind of missed the point…)

Sometimes when I have exchanges like that I start to wish I had a positive influence in my life as a performer, someone who could teach me and help me get better; a mentor. When I was younger I just sort of thought that one day someone would take me under their wing and give me guidance to get where I wanted to be.

However, that never happened. Over the years I just kept to myself and tried to forge my own path. I resigned myself to the fact that I would never have a mentor and that my experiences with more experienced performers would always be similar to the one I wrote about a week ago.

See, it’s so easy in life to remember the bad things that happen. A bad experience clouds your memory of everything that happened. When one negative thing occurs you tend to latch onto that moment and forget about the good stuff that happened, too.

A perfect example of this is when I have a heckler in the audience. (Luckily, I rarely have a heckler at my shows but it does happen occasionally.) Sometimes people are downright rude and don’t care that their actions are ruining the show for everyone else.

When that happens and you’re all alone on the road, you tend to dwell on it. You drive an hour back to your hotel and replay the interaction in your mind. Even if you handled the heckler like a pro you still wonder if there was anything you could have done differently and you forget about the good stuff that happened, too: the great joke you made with that couple onstage, the great reactions that you received moments before the heckler spoke out, the overwhelming standing ovation that you worked so hard to earn.

Which brings me to back to mentors…

Those bad experiences I have with other performers have clouded my opinion of other people in my field. I started to convince myself that everyone was a jerk because of a few people who were disrespectful. And I’ve realized a couple of things:

First, the truth is that most of the people in my field are incredibly supportive, respectful, and knowledgeable. They mean well and do everything they can to lift each other up and improve the art.

Second, and most importantly, I’ve realized that having a mentor in 2019 isn’t what I imagined it would be 25 years ago. It’s not having a single person taking you under their wing and showing you the ropes. It’s not being someone’s apprentice for two decades and shadowing someone 24/7. That’s just not how it works today.

Having a mentor now is being lucky enough for someone to share their wisdom, even if it’s just for a few minutes at a time. Having a mentor now means someone was willing to take some time out of their day to support you in some fashion, no matter how small.

Once that thought occurred to me I realized that I’ve had some amazing mentors over the years, and I don’t want a post like last week’s to cloud my positive experiences with some truly caring and thoughtful professionals who have offered me encouragement over the years.

So, let me share some positive examples of mentors I’ve been lucky enough to learn from over the past decade. (I’ll only use first names to preserve some anonymity for my friends. But, take it from me, these are some of the finest minds in the business and I’ve been lucky enough to learn from them all.)

Mentor #1 - KEN

If you learn anything about Ken from this anecdote, you should know that he is one of the smartest minds in my field. His thinking is in high-demand, not for his illusions but for how he provides help from a director’s point of view, pushing artists to a higher standard of performance and helping them to improve their shows. (His book on performance is the most-read book on my shelf. In fact, my new year’s resolution was to read one book per week this year. I’m on a six week trip right now so I brought seven books. One for each week and Ken’s for daily reference.)

He once came all the way across New York City just to watch my show in a crowded, hot, black box theatre. He sat quietly in the back of the theatre then gave me notes and ideas for a solid hour. As soon as he left I scrawled everything onto the back of a napkin so I wouldn’t forget anything. Those notes were the building block of the last two years of my touring show. Ken truly helped me find ways to maximize the level of entertainment in my performances.

Mentor #2 - CHRIS

In college Chris came to my campus and gave a mind blowing show. I watched in awe. Here was someone doing things that I did could not fathom, yet wanted so desperately to learn. He was easily the highlight of the year for myself and the other students at my college. After the show, I approached the stage to say hello. I was probably a bit of a know-it-all back then, but if it bothered Chris he didn’t let on. He generously sat with me on the stage for a solid half an hour, giving me a few pieces of advice and asking about my interests.

Years later I was attending a booking conference on my own. I was terrified. I didn’t know anyone and had no idea how the business worked. Suddenly, I heard a voice.

“Hi, Mark. Mind if I join you?”

I looked up to see Chris standing at my table with a drink in hand. “He knows my name?!” I thought. I couldn’t believe it.

Chris sat with me for a long time that day, offering encouragement and telling me stories of his experiences when he was in my same position. By the end of that afternoon I felt confident in the direction I was headed, all thanks to Chris.

Since then, Chris has attended a few of my shows, let me shadow him a couple times at his own, and offered advice anytime I’ve needed it. I owe a lot of thanks to many performers, but esp. Chris.

Mentor #3 - NEIL

Neil is an incredibly supportive friend of mine, a fellow performer, and a wise thinker and creator in my field. Not only is he a great thinker but he’s an incredible performer, too.

One of my favorite videos of my show is from a performance I did in a small room on the north side of Chicago. It’s a dark room and the footage isn’t that great, but throughout the show you can hear Neil laughing at my jokes just off camera. Every time I watch that video I remember when he came up to me after the show and took five minutes to offer encouragement and support. I’ll never forget that.

When Neil speaks people shut up and listen, because if you aren’t paying attention you’ll miss the beautiful ideas hidden in each and every sentence. There have been times I’ve learned more from Neil in ten minutes than I did in all of high school. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that Neil’s wisdom is supernatural.

Mentor #4 - MICHAEL

Several years ago I was attending a convention in Las Vegas. It was past midnight and most of the other attendees were drunk and rowdy. It was chaos. I was completely sober and all I wanted was to talk about performance. That’s why I was attending in the first place!

From the middle of the chaos emerged Michael and I believe he could sense that I had more on my mind. He sat down at my table and started asking me questions about my act. My answers led to more questions, which I struggled to answer. I found myself getting frustrated as Michael easily picked apart my artistic decisions. I’d never been forced to confront my thoughts before, especially not in front of a legend like Michael.

Michael has a way of making you question everything you’ve ever done. At first, you say what you think he wants to hear but soon you realize that’s not what he wanted at all. What he wants is for you to find the confidence to defend your ideas and opinions. That’s why he’s so hard on you in the first place.

Michael sat with me over 4 hours that night. I walked away discouraged and frustrated, thinking that maybe I wasn’t good at this after all. But the next day, I had a creative breakthrough. Then another and another. I started to solidify my onstage persona and my scriptwriting dramatically improved. It was all thanks to Michael.

I wasn’t smart enough then to understand how much help he was willing to give. But Michael, if you’re reading this, you were a real lifesaver.

Mentor #5 - SHAUN

In one of the lowest points of my life I met Shaun. I had recently lost my father and transferred colleges. I wasn’t happy or especially motivated at the time.

Shaun didn’t care about any of that. Well, he did, but he didn’t let it keep me from succeeding. He expected my absolute best. He demanded that I show up on time, work hard, and give 100% to everything I was doing. While other people in my life were questioning my dreams, Shaun was daring me to dream bigger.

Shaun was so important to me that I affectionately have him as “Dad” in my phone. He became a second father to me because he invested in me and what I wanted to be doing. If it wasn’t for Shaun I would have never found my voice.

* * * * *

There are numerous people who have inspired me over the years but these are some of my favorites. I can never thank them enough.

When you get discouraged or someone tries to bring you down, try to remember the good. And always remember that mentorship presents itself in many forms…you just have to be open and willing to learn.

Finally, always remember to be patient and willing to offer people advice anytime they need it. Always treat questions with respect and be forthcoming with your advice and ideas. You never know how meaningful a few minutes of your time might be for someone else.

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Other thoughts:

• I was just on Pittsburgh Today Live on CBS Pittsburgh this week to promote my show! Check out my appearance below:

• Also, be sure to check out this teaser for MIND READER at Liberty Magic.

• My show is getting rave reviews in Pittsburgh. Find out what Broadway World, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Pittsburgh In The Round, and the ‘Burgh Vivant have to say about MIND READER.

• I’m still in Pittsburgh for another four weeks! Get your tickets here.

• Don’t forget to join my Thursday Thoughts Mailing List so you never miss a post.

Experience

There was a fellow performer in my audience earlier this year. It was one of my best shows thus far in 2019. I was completely in the moment and the audience was loving it. Yet, this performer sat completely emotionless, arms crossed, refusing to smile or have a good time.

It reminded me of this cartoon:

For the entire show I kept glancing over to see if he was enjoying it, but it just looked like the guy in that cartoon.

Honestly, it pissed me off.

When I go to another performer’s show, I try to be a good audience member. Reactions are contagious, so I try to lead by example for the other people in the audience: I lean forward, I smile, I nod, I laugh. I work extra hard to pay attention and respond accordingly, because that’s what I would want if I was doing the show myself.

Seeing another performer refuse to acknowledge my performance was incredibly annoying. There was no reason for him not to enjoy himself. It was a good show, in a gorgeous venue - did I mention I WAS DESTROYING THAT ROOM?! His lack of respect for my effort onstage was rude. There’s no other way to put it. This performer who I thought I respected and admired was being a complete jerk.

At the end of the show the audience leapt to their feet for a standing ovation. (I told you I was killing…) I stepped to the front of the stage and could see out of the corner of my eye that the only person not standing was this guy. So I turned, made eye contact, and pointed right at him as if to say “I saw you the whole show and that wasn’t cool.”

After the show this colleague-who-must-not-be-named made his way backstage and we passed in the hallway.

I said hello and shook his hand.

“Did you have fun?” he said, as he condescendingly put his hand on my shoulder.

DID I HAVE FUN? What kind of cop-out question is that? I could see it on his face that he refused to tell me I did a good job, so he asked a surface level question to maintain his seniority over me. He was treating me like a child, when I’m actually his competition. We’ve been in the running for the same big events, we’re of the same pedigree, we are both working professionals, but he was refusing to treat me with respect.

A lesser Mark Toland would have let that exchange bother him for weeks, maybe even months. The Mark Toland of ten years ago would have panicked and wondered what was wrong with himself. He would have thought “Wow, my show isn’t good enough yet. I have to work harder and one day maybe I can earn this guy’s respect.”

When I was just starting out an exchange like that might have soured my entire night. I would have played it over and over in my head, getting more and more frustrated with every single replay. I would have spent countless nights blaming myself and questioning my actions.

But that was then…

I’m more self-assured now. I have the confidence of a thousand shows under my belt. I’ve done shows on the other side of the world and worked for every kind of audience imaginable. Things don’t really get to me now like they used to.

I know now that that guy’s actions during the night were all due to his own insecurities. There’s something wrong with him that made him treat me like that, and it had nothing to do with me.

Isn’t it great to get older and wiser and feel more confident? Isn’t it wonderful to understand that you can’t control people’s actions and usually they have nothing to do with you? It took me years to understand that but I’m so glad I do.

“Did you have fun?”

Those words hung in the air for a moment. Then, I looked him dead in the eye and placed my hand on his shoulder in return.

“Did you have fun?” I responded, slightly sarcastically. And for an instant, I could see the realization flash across his face that he had been incredibly disrespectful for the entire evening. He didn’t say anything but I’m certain it was there.

I walked down the hall and thought to myself “Hmm, maybe I’ll write a blog post about this…”

Then I went and celebrated the success of the night. The standing ovation for my award-winning show, with a group of friends who had come to support it. It never crossed my mind again, and if I hadn’t jotted it down in my list of potential blog ideas I might not have even written this post.

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I just got the first (hopefully, of many!) reviews for my show at Liberty Magic in Pittsburgh. Last night was the start of the 2nd week of my residency here. You don’t want to miss it. Go here to get tickets!