Last week we drove a few hours outside of Chicago to see one of our favorite musicians, Martin Sexton, in concert. We’ve wanted to see him live for years but just hadn’t gotten the chance yet.
It was a cold night but we arrived early and huddled outside the theater so we could enter the theater early and grab front row seats. But as the minutes ticked by and the start of the show grew closer we grew increasingly disappointed. We had assumed the venue would be packed but unfortunately there was hardly anyone in attendance.
I had built this night up in my mind: standing room only, the buzz of a well-respected performer about to take the stage, a big crowd singing along to music that I’ve listened to for much of my life. Instead, we were part of a small crowd of only about 50 people and it made me sad to think about how much I loved this performer and how I wanted other people to love them, too.
There’s no rhyme or reason why some performers sell out massive arenas and other performers struggle to find an audience. Sometimes it’s timing, other times it’s complete luck. It’s not to say performers with huge fan bases haven’t worked hard - they definitely have, but performers who don’t have big followings work hard, too, they just might not have gotten the same breaks that other artists have.
As we were waiting for the show to begin I started to think about my own work. For all of my big shows and wonderful opportunities, I’ve also had to persevere through many a bad performance.
I’ve performed in college cafeterias during lunchtime when I struggled to get a single student to look up from their laptop. I might as well have been invisible.
I’ve done midnight shows at festivals when there were only four people in the audience. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.
I’ve done company events where the audience was unruly and the sound system was so bad that I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.
You name it, I've probably done it.
When you spend an entire day travelling only to have a bad venue or a small audience it can be really defeating. You start to feel sorry for yourself and wonder why you even wanted to be a performer in the first place. You feel the weight of every bad show you’e ever done and every mistake you’ve ever made and it can be hard to shift that mindset and even care about the show you’re about to do.
So when I saw how small my favorite musician’s audience was last week I couldn’t help but replay all of those moments in my mind. And then, all of that changed.
He walked out and stepped in front of the microphone. Without any amplification he filled the entire space with a stirring rendition of one of his best songs. And everyone went crazy.
He made a joke about the show being “a living room gig”. He didn’t make fun of the audience or feel sorry for himself. He just acknowledged the situation and let us know that he was still going to give it his all.
And he did.
Song after song he filled the space with his amazing talent. Everyone was completely enthralled for the entire show. And by the end we rose to our feet in a huge ovation.
It was no longer disappointing that the audience was so small. It was a privilege. We got to see him in a small setting - everyone else had missed out. It was easily one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.
For two hours straight I had been transported into his world. I don’t know if he had been disappointed with the turnout backstage but if he was it didn’t show. He shifted his perspective of the night into a positive one and transmitted that feeling to us. It was clear that he loves what he does and was grateful to all 50 of us for coming out to see him on one of the coldest nights of the year.
Everyone tells you that if you work hard then you can do anything you want. But honestly? Most things are out of your control. You don’t know where you’re going to end up or how much money you’re going to make. And you can’t will a world tour into existence. But you can shift your perspective and remind yourself to be proud of what you do and be excited to share it with other people.
It can be so easy to get down on yourself when it feels like you aren’t living up to your own expectations. And with social media, it’s far too easy to compare ourselves to others and their version of success. But success comes in many, many forms. You can phone it in because hardly anyone showed up to your show or you can blow the roof of the joint for fifty of your biggest fans in central Illinois and give them a night they’ll always remember
It’s all in how you look at it.
Other Thoughts:
Last night I was on the Nick Digilio Show on WGN 720AM Radio. Check out the interview here..
Next week I’m giving my second TEDx Talk at TEDxYouth@Hinsdale. Watch my website for the full video soon!
See me live in March at the Chicago Magic Lounge! Go here for all of my other upcoming performances.