take responsibility

It's Always Your Fault

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My wife and I always joke around that we want to be great at what we do but we don’t have 10,000 hours to spare.

“We’re gonna have to do it in a thousand!”

As a result, we dedicated ourselves over the years to quickly learning from our mistakes and improving on each and every endeavor. For me, that meant being very self-critical and taking ownership of anything that went wrong. And man, have things gone wrong.

Here’s a brief, incomplete list of some of my biggest failures:

  • • Forgot to charge the batteries for my microphone and it quit working halfway through the show.
  • Left an important prop in the car and panicked mid-show when I realized I wouldn’t be able to continue as planned.
  • • Did an entire show with my pants unzipped.
  • • Also, I ripped the seat of my pants onstage once.
  • • Bombed on live TV.
  • Bombed in front of live audiences.
  • • Got lost on the way to a gig and was over and hour late.
  • • Went way over my allotted time for a show.
  • • Went way under my allotted time for a show.

I could go on and on. I’ve failed more times than you can imagine. However, I’ve always held true to one personal philosophy: It’s always my fault. ALWAYS.

I should have charged the batteries and should have double or triple-checked my props. Ever since that fateful day I always check my fly now. I’ve learned to cope with bombing, always leave earlier than I need to when headed to a gig, and have learned to nail the length of my show…down to the exact minute.

I have no one to blame for those experiences except myself. But as soon as they happened, I took responsibility for my failure, fixed it, and moved on. Sometimes I only have to fix one thing and other times I have to fix several things. But that’s what it takes to get better in a hurry, especially when you don’t have 10,000 hours to spare.

The same philosophy holds true for other things that might seem out of your control, too.

Have a difficult client? You must have attracted their interest somehow or not done enough to educate them on your services. It’s your fault.

Have a frustrating venue or tech problems? It’s your responsibility to communicate to the client and prepare beforehand. Take the blame because it’s your fault.

Keep finding yourself in work environments that you don’t want to be in? Change how you do things. Be strict with what projects you take on and what clients you do business with. Or, don’t complain about the work you’re doing. Either way, it’s your fault.

The sooner you learn that it’s always your fault, the better. You can keep going around blaming other people when things go wrong, but you’ll never get better that way. If you want to get to the next level you’re going to have to start being honest with yourself and that starts by knowing that the blames rest squarely on your shoulders.


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About Mark Toland

Mark Toland is an award-winning mind reader and two-time TEDx Speaker. His mind blowing skills have been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, NPR, WGN, Sirius XM, and more. Mark’s blog is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a professional entertainer, full of creative thoughts for creative people. Sign up below so you’ll never miss a post.


Responsible

The last week was a whirlwind.

My kitchen flooded, my tour promo was delayed, and my workload seemed to exponentially increase with every passing day. Then, in the past 48 hours everything went crazy. I worked nonstop to get things in place for my weekly show and to be packed and ready to head back out on tour first thing this morning.

And so, Thursday Thoughts got put on hold. 

Usually I spend a few hours a week thinking about Thursday Thoughts and another couple hours actually writing it. It sorts of bookends my week so I can explore what I’m thinking and share it with you.

But this week got away from me and I never had the time to write anything - let alone think about it.

I figured I’d write something when I landed in Kansas City today but everything was delayed. Then I had to perform tonight as part of KC Fringe, so I wasn’t able to sit down and focus there either. I had all but resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be forced to miss a week.

But, I don’t want to miss a week. I don’t want to give up on this project. I don’t like to fail at the goals I set for myself.

As I drove back from the festival, exhausted and ready to call it a night, I realized that I’m responsible for this. It’s up to me whether Thursday Thoughts continues for another week or just fades into oblivion. But the truth is, the only person standing between me and my goals is myself.

And so, I’m not making excuses. I’m not blaming my crazy week or hectic travel schedule. I’m writing this now, at 11:47 pm, to make sure I don’t miss a week and don’t give up on my plan.

Some of you might have realized I hadn’t posted this week. Maybe some of you didn’t remember yet. Maybe you missed it, or maybe you wouldn’t even notice if it was gone. 

But I would. I would care immensely because I don’t like to give up on the promises I make to myself.

So, I’ll see you next week. I can’t freaking wait.