seek failure

It's Always Your Fault

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My wife and I always joke around that we want to be great at what we do but we don’t have 10,000 hours to spare.

“We’re gonna have to do it in a thousand!”

As a result, we dedicated ourselves over the years to quickly learning from our mistakes and improving on each and every endeavor. For me, that meant being very self-critical and taking ownership of anything that went wrong. And man, have things gone wrong.

Here’s a brief, incomplete list of some of my biggest failures:

  • • Forgot to charge the batteries for my microphone and it quit working halfway through the show.
  • Left an important prop in the car and panicked mid-show when I realized I wouldn’t be able to continue as planned.
  • • Did an entire show with my pants unzipped.
  • • Also, I ripped the seat of my pants onstage once.
  • • Bombed on live TV.
  • Bombed in front of live audiences.
  • • Got lost on the way to a gig and was over and hour late.
  • • Went way over my allotted time for a show.
  • • Went way under my allotted time for a show.

I could go on and on. I’ve failed more times than you can imagine. However, I’ve always held true to one personal philosophy: It’s always my fault. ALWAYS.

I should have charged the batteries and should have double or triple-checked my props. Ever since that fateful day I always check my fly now. I’ve learned to cope with bombing, always leave earlier than I need to when headed to a gig, and have learned to nail the length of my show…down to the exact minute.

I have no one to blame for those experiences except myself. But as soon as they happened, I took responsibility for my failure, fixed it, and moved on. Sometimes I only have to fix one thing and other times I have to fix several things. But that’s what it takes to get better in a hurry, especially when you don’t have 10,000 hours to spare.

The same philosophy holds true for other things that might seem out of your control, too.

Have a difficult client? You must have attracted their interest somehow or not done enough to educate them on your services. It’s your fault.

Have a frustrating venue or tech problems? It’s your responsibility to communicate to the client and prepare beforehand. Take the blame because it’s your fault.

Keep finding yourself in work environments that you don’t want to be in? Change how you do things. Be strict with what projects you take on and what clients you do business with. Or, don’t complain about the work you’re doing. Either way, it’s your fault.

The sooner you learn that it’s always your fault, the better. You can keep going around blaming other people when things go wrong, but you’ll never get better that way. If you want to get to the next level you’re going to have to start being honest with yourself and that starts by knowing that the blames rest squarely on your shoulders.


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About Mark Toland

Mark Toland is an award-winning mind reader and two-time TEDx Speaker. His mind blowing skills have been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, NPR, WGN, Sirius XM, and more. Mark’s blog is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a professional entertainer, full of creative thoughts for creative people. Sign up below so you’ll never miss a post.


Seek Failure

Years ago I did a show at a mansion in Beverly Hills for a big client. It was a huge opportunity so I arrived early, set up, and stayed in the area so I nothing would prevent me from having a good show.

The guests arrived, the host introduced me, and I took the stage. It was off to a great start.

“What was the word you thought of?” I asked as I reached into my pocket for a pen.

And that’s when it hit me: I didn’t have my markers.

I was so nervous about getting caught in traffic or not being able to find the house that I had forgotten to check my props. Experience had taught me to always have an extra marker (in case one dried out), so I always travelled with at least two markers. Problem was both of my brand new permanent markers were in the trunk of my rental car.

A hundred people stared at me as I stammered and fished in my pocket. I took a deep breath, made a joke, and moved on. Fortunately, the audience loved the show - even though for me it had been a complete disaster from the moment I started.

The marker fiasco is one of many moments I’ve had something go wrong onstage. Over the past decade I’ve failed too many times to remember. (That’s not true - I never forget those moments.) When you do as many live shows as I do, things are bound to go wrong eventually.

I once forgot to zip my pants and did an entire show without realizing it. Once, I got in a car accident and was over 2 hours late to a show. (Luckily, the event was running long and everything worked out.) I’ve lost my bags, gotten sick backstage, broken bottles by accident, fallen off the stage, completely bombed in front of a roomful of corporate executives, and more.

The first time things go wrong you want to crawl in a hole and die. It’s a sickening feeling that won’t go away. When you fail or bomb or have a bad show, you can’t stop thinking about it. But, after you’ve failed a few hundred times that feeling changes. You start to realize that failure is necessary. It’s essential. You learn to enjoy it.

It’s taken a long time but now I appreciate failure in a way that I didn’t use to. When things start to go wrong onstage, I try to pause and savor those moments. I’ve learned to love it, because those disastrous moments are how you get better. You mess up, learn from it, and move on.

It may feel like it’s the end of the world, but it isn’t. It’s just a chance to learn and grow. So here’s my suggestion: Seek those moments. Fall flat on your face as often as possible. Take risks and make mistakes whenever possible. Run full speed into failure and embrace it.

You’re going to fail a million times. Things are going to go horribly wrong. But I promise you that everything will be okay. You’re still going to wake up the next day. The sun will be shining and life will go on just like it always has.


Other thoughts:

  • Shout out to Trainman Photography for this week’s photo!

  • Last night was my first performance at Liberty Magic in Pittsburgh. I’ll be here for six weeks, so get your tickets here. See below for a 360 view of the Liberty Magic theater: