Everywhere I go someone needs something.
“Leave us a review on TripAdvisor! Like us on Facebook!”
“Join our mailing list so we can invade your inbox!”
“FIVE STARS, please, please, pleeeeeease!”
It’s exhausting.
Look, I get it. Our society rewards people for getting reviews so you can climb the ranks and get more business. I have to seek out reviews and feedback for what I do, too. Even so, it has become an annoying and constant interruption throughout my everyday life. And, it’s a flawed system that can be easily gamed.
When I go somewhere - a restaurant, escape room, haunted house, the theater, you name it - I want to have a fully immersive and memorable experience. I want to be transported. I want an escape. What I don’t want is to be constantly reminded that you need my review because that’s the only way you can survive as a business. What that tells me is that you’re not here for me right now and I don’t matter. You’re only thinking about using me to get another customer so you can use them to get another person and so on.
I had a speech instructor once who told us that our audiences would most likely only remember a small portion of what we spoke about, but of that small portion they were quite likely to remember our closing words. When you end my experience at your establishment with a desperate “Don’t forget to leave us a review!” that’s what I end up remembering. I don’t remember the ambience or the aroma wafting from the kitchen. I start to forget the fun I had and, instead, I only remember that you chose to end our exchange the same way everyone else does: asking me to do something else for you.
I’ve already given you my time and money, but now you need something else? I think that’s an awful way to do business.
I try to handle this differently. My goal is to do such an exceptional job that my clients literally ask me “What else can we do to help you? Please let us know!” Many of them book my services year after year because they know they can rely on me and I will go above and beyond to make them look great and give them a successful, memorable event. They gave me rave reviews because they wanted to - not because I pressured them into it.
I guess I'm biased but I think that’s a better approach.
I try not to read reviews. Not only am I searching for more mystery but I also like to make my mind up for myself. I don’t want a series of algorithms to determine the best restaurant within driving distance, which movie I should see, or why one coffee shop is inferior to another. I’ll roll the dice and see what happens. Maybe it’s the worst coffee shop I’ve ever been to…or maybe my tastes are different than Username “KingOfReviews87” and I end up really liking it. You never know.
I was reading Martin Scorsese’s brilliant op-ed in The New York Times this week and it really got me thinking. If you weren’t aware he’s been in the news lately for saying that “Marvel movies aren’t cinema.” As you can imagine, superhero fans are up in arms. But I think he makes some great points.
I especially like this passage:
“…everything in them is officially sanctioned because it can’t really be any other way. That’s the nature of modern film franchises: market-researched, audience-tested, vetted, modified, revetted and remodified until they’re ready for consumption.”
I couldn’t help but draw a parallel between this essay I was already working on and the thoughts of Scorsese. It seems to me that Marvel films are the Trip Advisor top-reviews of movies. They’re doing everything they can to be the biggest, best, highest-grossing, most popular films. But they aren’t challenging how I think about the form or expanding my knowledge as a cinephile.
I judge a movie or book or restaurant or venue or experience by how much it lingers in my mind after it’s over. If I’m still thinking about it the next morning then it was probably pretty good. If I’m still thinking about it days or even weeks later then I know it was really great. And on those rare occasions when I can’t stop thinking about it for months or years, well, that’s when I know it’s included in my personal favorites.
I’ve never felt that way with a Marvel movie. The ending always set me up for a sequel, which sets me up for another run of spin-offs and new storylines. I know some people like that, but it’s just not for me. The producers are thinking ahead - to the next plot-line, the next movie, the next franchise - and not focused on my experience right now. Just like business that are only using me for their next five-star review…
You know what does make me feel that way?
The melodies and lyrics of Hamilton - still bouncing around in my mind years after seeing it live. I was never asked to leave a review or like a social media page. And I only sought it out from (incessant) positive word-of-mouth reviews. Everyone was right, it was as good - no, even better than they say.
A brilliant live theatrical performance makes me feel that way. So do great novels, good music, and hilarious comedians. I saw the Monet exhibit at The Art Institute earlier this year and couldn’t stop thinking about it. Those are the types of experiences I want from everything I do.
A few days ago I saw the movie “Parasite” by visionary director Bong Joon-ho. (It’s so metaphorical!) It was a masterpiece. It totally blew me away and I can’t get it out of my mind. I highly recommend it.
It asked nothing of me, except my time and attention. And it gave me everything I want from a film: laughs, tears, beautiful moments, and some hard truths. My final moment was what I wanted the experience to be - not a review or a hashtag request. No coupon or feedback form. Just rolling credits so I could linger in the feeling that it had given me. My memory of the movie is pure and intact from start to finish, a feeling that is getting harder to come by these days.
And now, I want to tell everyone about it. I want you to see it so I can talk about it with someone else. It’s one of the best films I’ve seen all year. (This just happens to tie in to this post but I’m serious. Don’t read the reviews and spoil it. Just go in cold. It’s worth it.)
When you give me the best experience possible I will go to the ends of the earth to let people know about it. I’ll become your biggest spokesperson and shout your name from the rooftops. Your top-notch service and memorable atmosphere will have tricked me into becoming an unpaid publicist for your brand.
Isn’t that better?
I think so and if you do, too, I’d really appreciate it if you’d leave me a comment or let your friends know how much you enjoyed this post. Use the links below to share it on social media or forward it via e-mail. It really helps me out and I truly appreciate it!
Please. I’m begging you.
Other Thoughts:
Thanks to everyone who sent well wishes after last week’s post. I'm feeling much better now. I got clearance to go out for my first run since dislocating my shoulder. It’s supposed to be warm this weekend so I’m going to give it a shot and see how I feel.
What I’m Reading Now: The Incomplete Book of Running
No video this week because of my ER visit but I’ll be back next week. (Are you subscribed?!)
I’m headlining three shows at the Chicago Magic Lounge this weekend. Hope to see you there!