priorities

Is It Still Worth It To Live In The City?

I moved to the city to chase my dreams. It was for access to performance venues, classes, other performers, and more opportunities.

I grew up in a small town and realized early on that if I wanted to be in show business I needed to move somewhere with proximity to what I wanted to be doing. So I went to school in Los Angeles and tried my best in SoCal for awhile. Then, after we got married, I moved to Chicago.

Naively, I thought that living in a big city would lead to massive opportunities and that eventually I might break through or “be discovered”. In truth, the biggest perk of living in a big city has been living close to good airports. That’s right - the main benefit of living here has been the ease with which I can travel to do my job in other locations.

Don’t get me wrong - I really enjoy Chicago. It’s easily one of the most beautiful cities in the entire world. I love the culture, the food, the museums, the community. I love my neighborhood and the lakefront trail. And up until the pandemic I was working events in the city like crazy, for a wide range of clients. New venues for magical performers have popped up in the city in recent years and I’ve created other opportunities on my own. But now there’s Covid-19 and no end in sight, and I’m really starting to wonder what the point of living here is.

I moved here to follow my dreams but no theaters are open right now and no one is hosting events. I’m paying a lot of rent and taxes so I can enjoy the zoo, museums, restaurants, sporting events, and other amenities that the city provides, but none of those are open right now either. I’m fortunate that thanks to my virtual shows, I’m still going to have a solid year of shows from the safety of my own apartment.

So, if I can do my job out of my apartment and still make a decent living, couldn’t I be doing that anywhere? Why stay in the city when it isn’t giving me what I need and I can do the exact same work I’ve been doing somewhere less expensive?

These are the thoughts I’ve been having for the past couple months. The pandemic has really forced me to consider my priorities. It’s a long list and none of it includes living in a box in the sky with nowhere else to go. I’m torn between the pull of city life and the idyllic lifestyle of a desolate cabin in the mountains. In a perfect world I could hole up in a cabin to write and read all day, leaving only to head out for a run of shows around the country for a few days before returning for some more peace and quiet in the woods.

I remember people saying “Oh, you’ll grow tired of the city and move to the suburbs someday…” But that’s not what this is. I don’t want to live on a cul-de-sac or hang out at the country club. I either want to be in the middle of everything or in the middle of nowhere.

Maybe I didn’t need the city after all. Or maybe things have changed and I don’t need it anymore. Maybe I’ll have a little slower internet speed or have to drive a little further to the airport, but it turns out that I can do my job from anywhere. So, if I can find a way to sustain online work, I may be living in that cabin sooner than you think.

Priorities

In 2014 I was trying to do too much.

I was struggling to get consistent work so I was taking shows wherever I could. I went to booking conferences, drove overnight to shows, partnered with charities for special events, and more. I even started cold calling potential clients while pretending to be my own manager. I was spreading myself too thin and it showed.

For some reason that year, I decided it would be a wise move to also run the Chicago Marathon. On top of everything else I had going on, I started training for the race.

I made it about two months of training before it became too much. I was too busy trying to make ends meet professionally that I couldn’t devote any time or energy to running. My workouts became a hassle and I gave up.

I still ran the marathon that year but it was a dismal failure. I wasn’t even close to the time I wanted and I hadn’t trained for three months leading up to the big race. It was a disappointing result, but I learned some valuable lessons.

First, I was creating the illusion of being busy. I was updating social media regularly, making YouTube videos, mailing sales postcards, and sending 100-200 emails per day in search of new work. But to what end? My best gigs were not coming from my relentless marketing methods - they were coming from other shows. When people saw what I did they would recommend me for other things. The better my act, the more likely I’d get hired for other things. Everything else was just a silly way to convince myself that I was working really hard.

Second, I realized that there is always time for the things that matter. In my haste to make ends meet and keep busy I had forgotten to prioritize the things that truly made me happy. Cold calling, stamping envelopes, and driving long hours were definitely not those things.

This year I stopped doing all the “busy work” that we’ve been tricked into believing is important. I stopped scheduling social media posts and don’t respond to emails past 5pm or on the weekends. I stopped searching for new clients or potential events and just focused on giving good performances. The funny thing is, I’m busier than ever. Turns out, I didn’t need to be doing all of those other things after all.

I also have been focusing on my exercise more this year. Instead of making it a hassle like I did in 2014, I reframed it as a priority.

It’s only an hour. It's only 7 miles. It’s worth it.

Instead of scrolling twitter or watching the news, I get to do something for me. I get to RUN. Several days a week I set off down the lakefront in Chicago and let my mind wander. When I’m traveling I set an alarm and get up early or use my breaks between events to get my miles in.

I’ve been running for years but this is the first year I’ve truly made it a priority. I’ve been setting little goals for myself all year to keep up with it and now it feels as much a part of my routine as breakfast, lunch, and dinner. (This month alone I’ll log 100+ miles, a huge victory after having a couple injuries only one year ago!)

I guess what I've been thinking about on my runs lately is that life is too short to prioritize the things that don’t matter. Why keep doing something if you don’t enjoy it? And why let something become a hassle when it’s actually one of your favorite things?

Your biggest priority should be filling your time with the stuff you love doing. You don’t need anyone’s permission. You shouldn’t keep putting it off. You need to put yourself first. If not now….when?

I’ve run more this year than any other and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. And, I just signed up for the 2020 Chicago Marathon lottery, but I won’t know until December if I get selected or not. If I do I’m going to make up for my failure back in 2014. And if I don’t I’ll find another marathon somewhere else.

Everyone in life is telling you to devote every spare hour to getting better, working harder, and finding success. I’m telling you the opposite. You don’t need to do anything except to find what makes you happiest and make that your number one priority.

Okay, that’s enough for this week. It’s time for today’s run.

Other Thoughts:

Mark Toland’s world-class entertainment is the go-to choice for special events worldwide. His award-winning mind reading talents have been featured on ABC, CBS, FOX, NBC, WGN, TEDx, NPR, WBEZ, SiriusXM, and PBS. Mark is based out of Chicago and travels worldwide for events. Read more about Mark or check out the booking page for more info.