Follow Your Dreams*

Follow Your Dreams*

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*Recently a friend of mine told me he was going to finally take the plunge and start performing full-time. I was stoked to hear it. I congratulated him and asked him what had caused him to make that decision.

“I just want more time to be creative and work on my act and stuff,” he said.

I died laughing.

“If you want more time to spend on your passion,” I said, “then don’t turn it into your job.”

I was only partially kidding. The truth is, when you decide to turn your passion into a career you often end up not having much time to spend on the things you’re actually passionate about. In order to make money from your creative skills you’re going to have to work on dozens of other things instead.

I’m not saying this to discourage you, I’m just trying to be pragmatic. If you’re going to chase your dreams you might as well know what it’s going to take.

Something I really enjoy doing is speaking at career days for Chicago area public schools. My job is really outside of the box, so students are interested to hear what I have to say and see that there are other ways to make a living than just your typical 9-to-5.

I always try to ask the students what they hope to do when they get older and the responses (particularly from the elementary and middle schoolers) are overwhelmingly “I want to be a YouTuber!”, “I want to play video games!”, or something similar. When I was growing up those aspirations weren’t even an option but today they are. A lot of people make their living online and it’s easy from afar to see the fun they’re having and believe that’s all that goes into their success.

Social media has exacerbated this problem. Everywhere you look you see people jet-setting around the world, in perfect shape, living a lavish lifestyle and spouting off worn-out quotes that give their followers the wrong idea. One of the worst ones is “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life!”

That sentiment couldn’t be farther from the truth. The reality is that if you want to make a career out of your passion you’re going to work all the time. You’re going to work early mornings, late nights, and weekend. You’re going to work when your friends are out having fun. You have to work all the time on things that you don’t care about, because that’s what it takes to get to do what you love for a living. Being self-employed means you work 80 hours a week so you don’t have to work 40.

I rarely have time to work on my show. I have to fit in those moments sporadically, when I have a few minutes to spare. It’s not nearly as often as I’d like, but that’s how it goes. Most of my time is spent booking shows, tracking down payments, invoicing clients, and marketing my services. But, as I joke often, “I don’t have any other skills.” So, I do the work every single day without complaint (mostly!), because that’s what it takes so I can do what I do best.

If you’ve read this far and you’re thinking, “I don’t have any other skills either. I have to follow my passion!” — then great! Do it. Just be prepared to spend an overwhelming amount of time on other, less exciting things so you can occasionally do what you’re most passionate about.

“Follow Your Dreams” is a great caption on Instagram but I think it needs an asterisk, like Barry Bonds’ home run record or the Houston Astros. Don’t be disheartened — be encouraged and inspired. If it was easy everyone would be doing it. It just means that you’ve got what it takes and all the work will be worth it in the end.

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About Mark Toland

Mark Toland is an award-winning mind reader and two-time TEDx Speaker. His mind blowing skills have been featured on NBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, NPR, WGN, Sirius XM, and more. Mark’s blog is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a professional entertainer, full of creative thoughts for creative people. Sign up below so you’ll never miss a post.

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Jump

I went skydiving this week. For real.

I jumped out of a plane at 13,500 feet with a guy named Adam who I’d never met until the day of the jump. We fell for 60 seconds at around 120 mph before he pulled the chute and we floated back down to the drop zone at Skydive Chicago.

It was unlike anything I’ve done before and I’ll definitely be doing it again.

The whole morning everyone kept asking me if I was nervous. They wanted to know if I was freaking out or going to be sick.

The truth is, I wasn’t.

I really hadn’t had much time to think about it. I’ve been so busy with my summer tour and my weekly show that I hadn’t had a moment to get nervous.

So when it came to the big day I was just excited. I signed the waiver, got suited up, and next thing I knew we were jumping out of a plane.

Piece of cake.

Those questions reminded me of when I moved to Los Angeles after I finished college.

Back then, I was on a quest to go to Hollywood and follow my dreams. So the second I finished school I packed my bags and headed west. I left my wonderful girlfriend (now wife!) crying in a parking lot and my gorgeous mustang convertible behind, all so I could pursue my passion.

All I had with me was a suitcase of clothes, my computer, my props, and 500 bucks. That was it.

Everyone I talked to had a version of the same question:

When did you know you were ready to move to LA?

My answer was always the same: I was never ready.

At the time, my show wasn’t good enough. I didn’t have enough money or a good plan for when I got to SoCal. I was completely alone. But I knew I had to move or else I might never go at all.

Moving right away meant that before I could get nervous I was already there. I was immediately immersed in a new city with new adventures, so I put my head down and got to work. The next thing I knew, I was taking the bus to gigs in all corners of LA. I found an agent, booked a commercial, and started to build momentum.

I still approach things this way. I dive into something and figure it out as I go.

Sometimes I do shows for several thousand people. It’s a huge responsibility to entertain such a big audience, but I don’t think about it. Instead I do my sound check and preparations like any other show, then head to the dressing room. Next thing I know, I’m being introduced and running onstage. There’s no time to be nervous.

Sometimes it’s better not to overthink things and just do it. Go see a movie without reading the reviews. Take a trip without planning it out. Venture out into your city and find something new.

You’ll never be fully prepared for anything. You can sit around and plan all you want. But at some point you’ll have to just go for it. You’ll have to make your move, take a chance, and jump!

Demand Their Respect

I got heckled for the first time in a while last week.

There was a group of people who had taken full advantage of the open bar and were being loud and obnoxious all night long.

The event was an exclusive night of mystery with a lineup of four of the finest performers in the city, including myself. One hundred guests, four entertainers, and non-stop amazement.

It’s held once a month at a luxury hotel downtown, complete with fully catered hors d'oeuvres, live music, and some of the most mind-blowing acts you’ve ever seen. Plus, a national magazine was interviewing us that night for a feature article coming out later this year.

So yeah, it was kind of a big deal.

Which made it even stranger when those six guests started being so rude. They started yelling things out during the other performers’ shows. Not clever things, not helpful things….just disruptive, rude comments that were distracting the other guests and making it hard for the performers to concentrate.

My fellow entertainers were doing their best to be polite and stay in control of the situation, but word got out and other guests were quick to alert me of “the people in the other room who think the show is all about them.”

Honestly, I’m not sure you can even count these people as hecklers. They were in a world of their own. They were having loud conversations without a care in the world for anyone else in their general vicinity. They weren’t trying to disrupt the show on purpose and they weren’t trying to outsmart the performers. They were just a bunch of a**holes.

Ordinarily I would be patient with a heckler. I would kindly ask them to repeat their comment and make a simple joke along the lines of “Settle down, this is my show!” or something similar. It would get a laugh, win everyone over, and get the heckler on board.

But last week was different.

I’d been watching these people be rude for several hours. I’d seen them yell across the room, interrupt the shows, and refuse to stop talking while my friends were performing. And by the time I got onstage it was really starting to piss me off.

So I took control of the room and began my opening mind reading demonstration.

“You’re an Aquarius, aren’t you? Born in February…February 10th?”

Everyone oohed and ahhed and applauded loudly as I read each person’s mind in turn. Then, as I continued with my act, I heard a group of people talking in the second row. They were at it again.

So I dropped everything. I stopped what I was doing, walked towards the group, and waited for the room to get quiet.

“You have the wrong idea,” I said.

“I do 150 shows a year and I chose to make one of those shows this one. So when I’m onstage I demand your respect. A lot of people in this room paid a lot of money to see me do this. And now I’m up here working and you are disrespecting me while I’m at work. So, yes, this is an interactive performance but it’s participatory on my terms, NOT yours. Understood?”

The ringleader of the group looked at me in horror, shocked that she was being reprimanded in front of other adults. Then, she shut up and didn’t speak again for the rest of my time onstage. They may have left at some point but I can’t be sure, because I was worried about the other 94 people who wanted to see a good show.

I can’t stand people who disrespect me during a show and I refuse to put up with it. I honed my skills doing difficult gigs in tough rooms for little pay and now I realize that while I was struggling to find my voice and learn my craft, I was slowly building up a confidence that can’t be shaken.

I have a confidence in myself now that is only born out of doing a thousand shows. I know when I walk onstage that I am good at what I do. I’m positive that what I do is worth watching and worthy of someone else’s respect. And so, I don’t have to put up with anyone’s bullsh*t any more because I already spent years doing that.

What I’ve learned is that if you value your time and respect your craft then you don’t have to put up with a heckler.

Your family will tell you to have a backup plan or a teacher will tell you to get a real job. People will act like they know what’s best for you, without taking the time to really listen to your plan. And time and time and time again people will shut the door to your dreams in your face.

Those are the hecklers on the journey towards your chosen destination. Those are the people who want to tell you what you should be doing, even though they don’t want to work as hard as you do. They’ll always be there, eager to disrupt and disrespect, and it’s up to you to shut them up.

You have to demand their respect.